questions about holding hands



For my fellow aro + ace peeps: Do any of you find that you are extremely repulsed by and/or have a panic reaction to holding hands? Like, moreso than other forms of intimate contact (e.g. hugging, kissing, cuddling)? If you are freaked out by holding hands, do you believe that there is a specific reason for this reaction that is not “because I am aromantic/asexual”?

I’m asking because my therapist (who is wonderful and supportive) was concerned when I characterized my response to holding hands as a panic reaction. Since coming out, I’ve always felt that this response was a direct result of being aromantic and not knowing it at the time – that my brain was desperately trying to communicate to me, “Hey, You Are Not Okay With This.” But my therapist pointed out that the reaction I described also sounded a lot like a trauma trigger, and she encouraged me to examine it a little more closely just in case there was something more there. So I’d like to establish a baseline of whether this reaction is common among other aro/ace people to help me do that!

Thanks in advance for any responses.

Holding hands mostly felt pointless for me.  Not really a “No I Do Not Want This” feeling, but more of a “Why Am I Bothering With This“ feeling.  But that’s the way a lot of that sort of contact felt to me.

Anyone else have thoughts on this?

i say it depends on the person. with most people i do kinda get the “holy shit i don’t want you touching me let go before i break your wrist” but as long as i know the person well it turns into more of a “this is a bit weird but i don’t mind that much”