redbeardace: letters-to-lgbt-kids: My dear lgbt+ kids,  If someone proudly puts “homophobe” in…



My dear lgbt+ kids, 

If someone proudly puts “homophobe” in their blog description or URL, you know that they are.. what’s the kindest word to choose here… assholes. 

If I see a negative comment on my posts or a angry message by someone who made the conscious decision to put “homophobic and proud of it” or similar things in their blog description, it’s obvious I do not need to care about whatever they have to say – they already proved that they are not only ignorant but willingly, purposefully want to disrespect, scare and hurt people like me. 

The word “homophobe” is connected to violence. It’s not a cute thing to call yourself. Even if the person is likely just a 13-year-old with too much free time who wants to be edgy, the connection is there. And that’s why it’ll never be funny or cute or “harmless tumblr discourse” to describe yourself as ”homophobic and proud of it”. 

If you call yourself homophobic on your blog, I have no way to know if you are a “I ship my favorite character in a hetero relationship and am upset that other people say he is gay” homophobe or a “I will assault you if I see you holding hands with your wife in public” homophobe. 

The same applies 100% to anyone who calls themselves “aphobic and proud” or “transphobic and proud” or “biphobic and proud”. Their hate is not suddenly any more acceptable because it’s directed at a less widely-known identity.  

Yes, this includes gay people who call themselves aphobic. As an adult in a gay relationship, I’m appalled to see young gay people throw around words that have negative, violent connotations. Our community can do better than that. 

It’s hard to end this letter on a sweet, positive note but I do want to tell you that if seeing blogs who say such things hurts you, you’re not alone. If they scare you, you are not alone. You’re not being silly or taking it too serious or overreacting. 

Please know that I’ll never stand with those people. My blog will always be a safe space for all people in the lgbt+ community. Exclusion is an alien concept here. I say “lgbt+” for a reason. 

With all my love, 

Your Tumblr Mom

And an important note:  Do not hesitate to block those people.

If someone is being an asshole, you don’t owe them anything, you don’t have to see their posts anymore.  Block them and their entire troll horde.

And if someone is saying things that are hateful and violent or that target or harass you or another user specifically, report them.