Is it just me or are there a ton more ace ladies than men? ((I present as pretty much 100% cis male, but have really no interest whatsoever in intimacy.)) I just noticed that the stories / rants I see a lot revolve around “my bf wants sex but I really don’t”, when coming from the other side, my experience is more like “you’re a dude, you’re *supposed* to want sex what’s wrong with you??”
That’s an interesting point. I hadn’t really noticed…
I figured that this was because tumblr’s demographics was mostly feminine, so I did a little research. Turns out that according to a few sources (here, here, here) the gender breakdown of this site is pretty even between male and female. Though, take it with a grain of salt, nothing I found listed the demographics of anyone who doesn’t ID as male or female.
Looking at the 2015 Ace Community Census (I couldn’t find results from 2016 or 2017) by https://asexualcensus.wordpress.com/ about 56.8% of the asexuals who took their survey were identified as female, while 12.3 were male, and 30.9% identified as other.
So you have a point, anon friend. Men may be more reluctant to call themselves asexual or explore their sexuality at all due to societal pressures. Because “Men are supposed to want sex.” “All that men can think about is sex.” and junk like that. The idea being that not wanting to fuck everything that walks somehow makes you less of a man. And that’s very so harmful. Not only is it ridiculous, false, and toxic, but it also implies that not wanting sex is a feminine trait and femininity in our society is seen as “wrong”. Ultimately putting us all in boxes that we often are chastised for trying to get out of.
If you want, here are some links to some dudes talking about being ace:
- Artist, GPS-Device on growing up ace
- brithistorian on growing up ace
- @redbeardace on Living Alone
- Asexual Men Reddit
- Masculinity as an invisible wall
- Interview with Founder of AVEN David Jay
I don’t really know where I was going with this, but I’d love to hear more men talk about their ace experiences.