I'm demi & I'm in a QPR with an aro. I'm happy with the relationship, but it was a little rocky getting to this point. I don't want to use too many characters explaining why, but now I have a friend and my mom who are concerned about me seeing my QPP. I can't tell them that we're in a QPR because she is not out about being aro. I thought about asking my QPP if she would be okay pretending to be in a romantic relationship to avoid difficult convos but I'm worried about being dishonest. Thoughts?
Well there’s several options here, but you should definitely decide which to choose together with your QPP.
One is you pretend to be a romantic couple. That might lead to other complications though, because then your mom and your friend might expect you to act romantically together (kiss, hold hands, etc) and they might eventually bother you about whether or not you’re gonna marry or have kids or whatever.
Another option is that you just say you’re very close best friends and that’s it. They might not believe that for a while and probably tease you a lot but if you keep saying it, they’ll probably believe it and it’ll put less expectations on you. It’s also probably the closest to what your relationship actually is.
Third option is don’t tell them anything. They’re allowed to be worried or curious but you don’t owe them answers or explanations. Reassure them that yes you’re fine and happy and refuse to answer any more questions. It’s your life! They might be annoyed by that, but that way you don’t have to lie and risk them being mad later when you tell them about the QPR and they realize that you weren’t quite honest. And you won’t have to pretend being in a relationship that isn’t accurate.
So yeah these are the options I see. Which one is best for you depends on your specific circumstances. You coud of course also just try to avoid the questions and change the topic everytime it comes up, but that probably won’t really help anyone long term.
– Mod Fiona