I'm trying to figure out my sensual orien…

I'm trying to figure out my sensual orientation, and it's hard because I have such a disconnect from it. It's probably from a combo of 1. Being touch-starved my whole life 2. Most of the times I have touched people, I didn't like those people/I didn't want to touch them 3. Touch/physical intimacy being very sexualized where I live. I guess I'm asking if you know of any words to describe this disconnect, even words meant to describe sexual stuff, I really want a word to describe it

I think it’s just as you said. You’re touch starved also known as touch

deprivation in medical terminology. It’s not uncommon these days with a lot of people being more and more isolated. Add on that in some cultures touching others is seen as a sexual or romantic thing, which keeps many from doing things like hugging or cuddling. Cracked did a whole podcast on touch starvation in the modern age: link, there’s an AVEN discussion on it: link, a Psychology Today article on touch deprivation: link, and a reddit thread: link

With touch starvation finally making it into our vernacular, there are starting to be therapies and group meetups for touch deprived people (mostly major cities). I always think that pets are a great option for cuddling. And queer platonic relationships are super nice for this reason. The relationship is platonic, but you can cuddle and hug all you want. I’m also sure that a good friend wouldn’t mind if you asked for a hug. I hope that you are able to find someone whom you actually like, that you can cuddle up with someday. Good luck, Anon.