Category: ace

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quiet-times:

Let me clear something up that some people don’t understand:

  • Aspec – Anyone on the aromantic or asexual spectrum.
  • Arospec – Anyone on the aromantic spectrum.
  • Acespec – Anyone on the asexual spectrum.
  • Aphobia – Bigotry directed towards anyone who is aspec.
  • Arophobia – Bigotry directed towards aromantic people specifically.
  • Acephobia – Bigotry directed towards asexual people specifically.

Don’t say “aspec” if you just mean asexuals!
Don’t say “aspec and arospec”!
Don’t say “aphobia and arophobia”!

Don’t exclude aromantic people from our own community!

mushki-art: Heyyy woo! I’m finally ready to…

mushki-art:

Heyyy woo! I’m finally ready to share this online~ This has just been my experience being Ace. I’m selling these at cons and will have them at MSP Spring Con (at the MN state fair grounds, yo!)

But I’ve also been trying out gumroad too – so you can get a pdf of it off there too if you want~

smnius:

smnius:

Ace/Aro WLW (WooLooWoos) are valid (addition to this post)

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If you don’t like rants or math, stop reading

Jeez, how does anyone come out with being Ace? Seriously, though? I mean, my parents are pretty conservative and basically Jewish (there’s not really a name for us so just go with it), so I’m terrified they’ll find out. Ugh, I just watched Love, Simon (great movie, very cute) and my family is like the opposite of Simon’s.

I have an older brother and we’ve only gotten along since he moved out earlier this year because of issues in our mutual past (not gonna go into it). My twin is the only person I’ve come out to, and she was surprised by the whole thing.

My parents are an entirely different subject. My mom could run the Conservative party, she is the least liberal person I have ever met. Ever. She says I can talk to her about anything, but I also have anxiety and depression. I once tried to explain about an anxiety attack I had in front of her and she told me I was just overwhelmed and there was no need to define it as mental illness. Oh, my dad? Yeah, you know how people talk about the one time they’ve seen their dad cry? Yeah — I’m not one of those people. To my knowledge, my dad has never cried (however, my parents don’t tell me anything anyway, so…). My dad is just as conservative as my mom, but don’t start an argument with him — you will lose. It doesn’t even matter that you have a fantastic argument that is cool/collected and possess all the facts and my dad’s is literally jut saying “well, that’s not what I believe, so it can’t be true” (not that his arguments are anything like that), you will lose. I cannot explain how you lose, but you do. My dad has never lost an argument with anyone who has ever disagreed with him and, if you keep it up, He. Will. End. You. Until. You. Fold. Or have to leave and forget the argument entirely or until you meet again and decide poorly to start it up again, whichever comes first.

My favorite part in Love, Simon wasn’t the ending or the acceptance from his family, it was when Simon came out at Christmas. I know that sounds weird, but I liked how real it was. Simon was so terrified of his parents reaction, he couldn’t look at anything but the floor. I know that people can’t hide forever, but I wish there was a way to come out without people freaking out. My only console is that I’m heteromantic and that might ease the blow.

And on top of the anxiety of my parents finding out, I’m afraid I’ll never find anyone. I mean, hell, I was terrified I wasn’t gonna find anyone before I realized I was Ace and know that fear has more than tripled. My whole life I have wanted to be somebody’s someone, and have a family, and be “most awesome mom on the block”, but I never realized until a few weeks ago that I could never see myself doing any of that with sex in the picture. And I was doing the math the other day (literally), and how the hell am I gonna find a guy who is okay with sex being at least mostly off the table, exclusive, in whatever-you-call-my-religion, and my own version of Mr. Right??

(Math Time people) There’s (at most) 76 million people on the planet who are Ace, let’s assume 40% are male (though it’s probably less), giving us about 30,400,000 men in the world who are Ace. My religion is weird/scarce so let’s assume that .5% are in my religion (though I’m probably being too generous), giving me a potential 152,000 Aces that are my-religion worldwide. Let’s assume that 60% are between the ages of 14 and 28, leaving me with 91,200 eligible males worldwide and (assuming 30% live in the USA) 27,360 potential Mr. Rights that I may actually meet. I have met less than 300 males in my age range (never mind my religion or Ace status) and I would bet money that less that .0001% are within shouting distance of the LGBTQ+ radar, never mind Asexuality.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant, but if you’ve happened to read to the end of this, any suggestions (coming out, anti-stress, etc.), questions, comments, or concerns? Here’s a potato: (or there)

I already contacted the person myself and talked to them but more opinions or advice would be very appreciated <3<3<3

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Saw this and cracked up ‘cause all I could think was “my kinda roll”

Another aroace autistic person here to confirm…

Another aroace autistic person here to confirm that aspec isn’t an autistic thing. I’ve only ever heard it used for the ace and aro spectrums while I have commonly heard terms like “autie”, “aspie”, or “on the spectrum” used for autistic people.

Thanks for you addition! this is relevant information!

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So since it’s pride month, I made myself a little asexual/aromantic flag

image
image

Mod Fiona: This is delightful I love it!

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New icon by @tarrot-patch !!! I couldn’t wait!!

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Vegetable Love

This is a poem that I wrote that will be in my book when I finish writing it and is about my asexuality, encountering acephobia from a classmate, and me trying to communicate that platonic love, is a thing and that it can be just as powerful and important, if not more so, as romantic or sexual love, and also my relationship with my friends. I want people to understand that there are many kinds of love. All of them being valid and beautiful.

A boy in my class told a tale of how he and another made love in their kitchen

How together they blended peach and banana into a sultry smoothie

How they knocked everything off the countertops

Made a huge mess that they had to clean up later

I smiled

I told him of how I too made love in my kitchen

With a group of my friends

How we made pesto sauce with heavy whipping cream

to put on our asparagus and tortellini

I said,

Unlike you, I left my mess

I left everything on the counters;

because I was too lazy to clean it up

Yeah,

I know, I’m dirty

My love isn’t at all like his

It isn’t chocolate covered strawberries

It’s more of a ripe, red tomato

It’s vegetative

My love isn’t kept for a special someone

My love is to be shared with all of my friends

My friends and I

We’re about that tough love

Together we sprouted from the dirt

We’re crisp and cool

The cream of the crop

Call us the cabbage patch kids

Our love is ingrained and deep rooted

Without romance, just romaine

We’re peas in a pod

Not horny, just corny

We Netflix and Chill in the best way,

like the couch potatoes that we are

We cut it up in the garden

We turnip to our own beet

Our friendship flourishes under the sun

Our love a sweet potato so sweet

The boy in my class told me that I am a prude prune

That my kind of love isn’t the real kind of love

That it’s not fervent, not fruitful

Told me that there should be an apple of my eye

That I should want to peel its skin and juice it

That I am condemning myself to the life of a lonely lemon

I reply,

There’s no need to be such a rutabaga

I yam who I yam

And while there’s no apple for my eyes,

My friends are the tomato in my chest

They are my garden,

And when you have a garden, you are never alone

My love is the real dill

And if you can’t see that,

Then maybe you should get to know a carrot or two

And here’s some food for thought

Lettuce toss our salads in our own way

Love isn’t always like an orchard

Not always picked and peeled fruit

Not always plowed earth and planted seed

Sometimes love is like my kind of love

Inviting friends over for dinner

Sitting at a table spread with fresh produce

Enamored by everyone’s 24 carrot smiles

Feeling full

Not wanting to eat anything

Or anyone

Thank you, if you’ve read this. I’m quite new to the writing world and I accept criticism and suggestions.