I recently was diagnosed with PCOS. Meaning I may never be able to carry or birth my own children. I’m also ace. The doctors started messing with my hormones and so I’m now more emotional and want children even more. I told someone that I would do anything to carry my own child even though I dislike sex. They told me that I can’t be ace if I wanna carry my own children. I’m not ready to have kids yet bc I’m only 19 and I’m doing reborn therapy. But I’d like your thoughts on this?
I totally understand the dilemma and frustration. I, too, have chronic ovarian issues and am likely infertile. Although it does affect hormones, sexual attraction can be completely separate. Could they be related? Absolutely, but regardless, you identify as ace. An ace can have sex, enjoy sex, and want to carry children and still be ace. Asexuality is simply not having a sexual attraction towards someone. You are your own person, and wanting to carry children doesn’t define your sexuality at all.
Is asexuality apart of the LGBTQ+ community?
How do you know if you like someone enough to want to date them or if you just want to be good friends with them?
I honestly don’t know. It’s really hard. There are some good guidelines online if you google that same question.
ok so i'm hella confused. is it possible for someone to be sexually attracted to girls but just girls as a whole or like as an idea? because ok i'm like yeah girls are hot i like seeing nsfw things with them and stuff like that + i know i'm romantically attracted to them, but i've never been sexually attracted to a specific girl not even one i've had a romantic crush on. does this make sense? am i ace? or just weird?
Hi there! I might suggest looking into the terms aegosexual and autochorrissexual. If you check our FAQ, there’s a brief description of the terms. If you find that this idea describes you well, it’s still perfectly valid to ID as asexual, or to make one of these terms your main identifying label.
Hi!! I was wondering if anyone could help me out with this. I think my girlfriend might be aromantic since she has a lot of problems with pda and stuff. I was wondering if anybody could give me some experience with dating an aromantic and how to tell their partner they might be aro. Thank you!
My first bit of advice for dating somebody who’s aro is to not think that it means they don’t care about you, she just probably cares about you in a different way than you do. She started dating you for some reason, so realizing that she fits this label doesn’t.
As for telling her you think she might be aro, it’s important to let her do a lot of the discovering herself. That doesn’t necessarily mean that you can’t help her, but you can’t just say “Oh I think you’re this and here’s why”.
I would start by learning more about squishes and other forms of attraction that we talk about a lot in the ace an aro communities. Then, you could begin the conversation with her by asking if she knows what aromantic means. Make sure she knows, explain what you understand about other forms of attraction, and ask her if she thinks she might be aro and/or tell her that you think she might be and why.
Hope that helps!
I found out I'm ace during this summer. So, I contacted all my friends. One of them was a hypocrite. She went into this rage, and we are no longer friends. I got over it within weeks but the wounds were still sore. My boyf now supports me along with a lot of others. Then, I found this blog. Thank You, you guys saved me from my mental self inflicted abuse and 2.5 liters of valuable fluids from exiting through my tear ducts. And now, I think I found where I belong knowing that I am not alone…
This is so nice to hear! Thank you!
Can you elaborate a bit on the nature of a queerplatonic relationship? Are there any fictional examples you could point out?
Uhhmm I can’t really think of any fictional examples. Maybe some of our followers could help with that point.
Every qpr is different. But the main idea is that you’re “more” than friends, but not in a romantic way. For example, my qpp (queerplatonic partner) and I go on dates, and cuddle, and have agreed that we’d be down to marry each other. However, there’s no romantic aspect to our relationship. Also, we both have experienced romantic attraction before, and both would prefer to end up married to somebody that we have romantic attraction towards, so we’ve decided that we’ll only get married if we get older and aren’t married to a romantic partner. But it’s also totally cool to marry a qpp at a young age, even if you do experience romantic attraction.
Hey hey hey! I'm having a lot of troubles regarding sexuality. I identify as aromantic and asexual, and my main problem is I just struggle to come to terms with it. I've never had sexual or romantic attractions and people tell me I'm lucky but I just don't know what to do about it, especially because I'm currently in a relationship. Is there any way you can help?
Coming to terms with being aroace can be difficult, because oftentimes it totally changes what we expect for our own future, and not always in a way we like, especially if you’re not sex-repulsed or romance-repulsed. But it’s okay to still enter into a romantic relationship with somebody if you don’t have romantic attraction towards them, and the same goes for sexual relationships. Romantic love and sexual love are far from the only forms of love out there. I think it’s perfectly fine to enter one of these types of relationships with somebody if you care about them in some other way. When that’s the case, it’s important to communicate what you want and don’t want but that you also take care of your partner’s emotional needs in some way or another. It can be hard, but it’s definitely possible!
SO I THINK IM A BIT IN LOVE WITH THIS GIRL AND WE HAVE BECOME SUPER GOOD FRIENDS AND WE LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS AND HAVE THE SAME KIND OF HUMOR AND EVERYTHING AND TODAY I FOUND OUT SHE IS ACE LIKE ME AND LAKFLASHFKAJSF IDK WHAT TO DO DO I TELL HER I LIKE HER ROMANTICALLY OR WILL IT GET WIERD WHAT SHOULD I DO HELP
If you think she might feel the same way about you, go for it, but try to do it in a way that won’t make her think you wouldn’t want to be just friends with her if she doesn’t feel the same way.
About the falling in love vs crushing anon, I feel the same way and I personally use the split attraction model and identify as asexual & demiromantic. To me falling in love is predicated on a strong relationship/connection whereas a crush has less deep roots. That's just me though! Either way you're valid!