I guess it depend on how people define "crush" personally, I define crushes as being in love but not yet in a relationship with that person, wanting to date, kiss and maybe get intimate with that person. Being demi, I felt like that a few times for close friends. If I just wanna hang out with someone, talk with them and get to know them better, or if I just like their style, I call that a squish.
Well back when I was a teen I didnt quite have the vocabs to describe it, so I´m calling those “crushes” pseudo crushes cause in retrospect they dont seem like real crushes at all
They weren´t even squish level to me, I didnt know those people enough at all, I just decided “Well you look kinda cute”
Hi, I just want to add to the ask about being aro and crushes, cause I'm aro/ace and I've had some crushes, not that many but a few. But I still identify as aro cause to me having a crush on someone isn't the same as being in love, and doesn't involve that deep romatic feelings, if that makes sense? I've never been in love with someone, and I don't want a romantic relationship so it feels right to call myself aro! Those are just my thoughts on it 🙂
Well I call myself aro too and I had I think crushes? Tho in retrospect I dont know if those actually were crushes or me just feeling obligated to crush on someone because I was a teen, I literally picked some crushes like “I will be interested in this boy over there” idk in retrospect those crushes seemed awfully shallow and not that deep, like I never planned for a relationship either I didnt think that far ahead but I kinda always chose people that would never say yes anyway???
okay weird question but i’m ace but now i think i might be aro? i mean i get crushes on people sometimes but when it doesn’t work out i’m not hurt or upset because i never really loved them????????????? does that make me aro or have i just not found a person who i can fall in love with yet?
Mmmmm could be aro, maybe you aren´t really “crushing” in the traditional sense but more like a plantonic crush or you like how they look like aesthetic attraction? Or maybe since we live in a very romance and sex dominant world you think you´re crushing but its not a real crush but what you think a crush is based on media? If that makes sense
You could absolutely be aro, or demi maybe? You´ll find out in time, there is no rush
hello! i've been wondering whether it's a good idea to tell my parents i'm ace since we're at that age where our friends are getting married/having children. our parents have been slightly hinting abt me finding a partner, but since i've always been honest & always said i dont want kids or to get married, they arent Really Pushing. i'm pretty sure they know they're only wishfully thinking abt my future lol my closest friends know i'm ace & that's it idk i feel like it's not a Big Deal but…
If you feel like they would have a good or neutral reaction and you are on your own like own apartment and financially stable then go for it if you want to!
Hi! I am 20, straight, and I never had a boyfriend, kissed anyone or anything else like that. Most of my friends think it’s weird. When I think about sex it just doesn’t attract me at all, to be honest it scares me a lot (which is thought stupid by some because I never even kissed someone.) I think yes, I would like to have a boyfriend but the sex part just… scares the hell out of me and I don’t think I want it. Kissing also scares me and doesn’t appeal to me. Would this mean I am asexual?
It could potentially mean that you´re asexual and heteroromantic yes, and it´s not stupid or weird to never have kissed someone or to be afraid of sex/feel intimidated and scared of it.
I had my first relationship with 18 and I first kissed with almost 21 and decided it was not for me. If you feel like the ace label fits you can identify as it, all aces are welcome in the ace community <3
So, I'm sex repulsed ace and I have to go to hospital and have a camera inserted into my vagina and I'm freaking out.
Oh damn that sounds horrible, I hope everything goes well? Please make sure to tell them that you are a virgin (assuming you are since you´re sex repulsed) and need them to be especially careful and tell them when it hurts, they need to respect that.
Something I always tell myself to ease my medical phobias that it is a necessary evil for my health and that it´ll be over soon. I hope that could help a little?
That reblog from queenieboo22 made me realize I'm aro. Like, I had suspected something along the lines of it, but it really just hit me that I'm very aro, and what I feel towards some friends is more of a squish. I feel… strangely liberated? Now I know for sure, and just, wow. It's 12:30 am I should be in bed but wow
We´re glad our reblog helped you figure out that you´re aro, it can be very hard to figure out you´re aro in a society where love is considered essential. I read it and I connected to it too very much and I´m pretty sure I´m aro too
– Mod Paula
Hi! so I'm still figuring it out, but I'm more and more sure that I'm asexual and maybe even aro/ace. but that's not my point. In my native language term "sexual attraction" is translated into something that also means "sex drive" (libido) and I'm very confused by that cuz I saw many times that this are two different things. so ARE they the same or my language just screw up?
Sex drive and sexual attraction are different, sexual attraction is how sexually attracted you are to another person and sex drive is how much sex you crave/desire or how big your libido is, sex drive doesn´t ultimately mean that you want to have sex with another person but for example that you feel horny and masturbate to relief yourself
I hope that could help
I came out to my parents a while ago as asexual but they don't understand. I started dating this awesome girl and my parents keep asking me what dating means if we're not having sex. I wasn't ever really aware dating meant you had to be sexually intimate with each other so it kind of took me by surprise when they asked that. I really have no clue what to tell them. We're not sexually interested in each other. We just have a really close bond. Sometimes we kiss and stuff but that's it.
one way to put it might be that dating for you is more about an emotional connection than a physical connection.
Generally the relationships that last are the ones built primarily on support and communication and actually enjoying the company, and not based solely or mostly on the possible sexual aspect.
It’s always weird to realize how much society puts a script onto relationships, where you “have” to do this or that and do the things at specific stages.
Relationships are much better when they are built and created by the people in them, molding the relationship into what works for everyone involved, and bringing value to their lives.
I'm perhaps more confused than I've ever been right now, I've always been kinda sex indifferent like 'meh, I'll do it if you wanna, but I don't need to', and I thought I was homo-greysexual biromantic, but then I had a week or so where I was talking about a lot of /stuff/ with a guy and even did stuff with several people and was just really sexual. But now that's suddenly disappeared and for the first time ever, I feel genuinely sex repulsed. I'm sorry for venting but I'm so confused -💖 (1/?)
I’ve struggled with my identity for a really long time and I thought I
found something that fit but now I don’t know what I am. Am I still on
the acespec? Am I gay or bi? I feel like I’ve been thrown right back to
square one figuring myself out all over again -💖 (2/2)
Identity is hard my friend, as long as you don´t experience sexual attraction or very rarely you are still ace/aspec. And for the rest I am unsure, that you have to see for yourself. Anyways I hope you´ll figure everything out soon, it´s hard to be questioning but dont try to speed the process up, it´s a necessary process. We wish you good luck on your journey, my friend