I always feel like I can't reblog ace positive or ace inclusive stuff because it's "cringe" right now on this website. I see posts making fun of anyone not a lesbian, gay, or bi all the time and it's so upsetting…
Man, fuck that “cringe culture” bullshit. Those people are just edge lord assholes who think that people can’t be enthusiastic about their interests, that identities that they hadn’t heard of aren’t real, and mock young artists for not having the most polished artwork. But who are they to judge anyone?
Your existence and your interests are NOT “cringey”. You are not hurting anyone by just being yourself. Reblog as much ace stuff as you want, anon. It’s your blog and your life.
A stands for Ally because it's there for closeted LGBT people to go to events safely. It's not about cishet allies it's for closeted LGBT people.
I disagree, and here’s why.
The definition of an Ally is someone who is supportive of LGBT people. This encompasses non LGBT people (hetero, cis) and LGBT people (ex: a Lesbian who’s supportive of the Bisexual community)
Asexuals, Aromantics, Agendered people already feel erased (oh and btw while I was doing some research last night not one did anyone say A stood for Aros or Agender. Like wtf). Not only do fellow members of the LGBT not acknowledge our identities, but most people outside our community think we’re a myth.
Pushing the term Ally to fit into the A just further pushes the rest of us out. (Btw I’m all for gay-straight alliance groups, but that’s an environment designed for both LGBT and non, and is a safe (typically) way for closeted people to enact with their community.)
Closeted people usually (forgive need if Im assuming. I had a different experience) know what they’re in the closet for. So a closeted gay man still identifies with the letter G, even if no one knows that. He doesn’t necessarily identify with the letter A.
Now if that closeted gay man does want to be an Ally and does want to help his fellow LGBT members by advocating for them? Well, he’s not going to do that by claiming the A for himself. If he really wants to be an Ally, he’ll understand who the A belongs to and not try to take that away.
(And if he is indeed closeted, then to the world it just looks like another straight person trying to shove into an LGBT safe space, and that’s not helping anyone. Especially not the As)
Hi could 2018 PLEASE be the year where everyone stops acting like all asexual and aromantic people are just “straight” people trying to encroach on gay and lesbian spaces because that is so fucking far from the truth
First of all y’all are acting like ace and aro people can’t also be gay/bi/pan or whatever at the same time when very many of us indeed actually are and guess what? A lot of us are also trans and non-binary as well!
And in the same way that being gay can affect your experiences as a trans person and vice versa, being aro or ace can also play a role in other aspects of your gender or sexuality. There’s intersectionality with being ace in the same way that there’s intersectionality between other identities.
So even if you don’t think asexuality and aromanticness are LGBT+ for whatever bunk-assreason, those identities still sure as hell can play a role in the LGBT+ experience for many different people
And if an ace or aro person isn’t attracted to the same sex or they aren’t under the trans umbrella guess what That person is STILL a sexual/romantic minority because they still deviate from society’s default of a person being both sexually and romantically attracted to the opposite sex exclusively- because there’s no attraction to speak of.
Yeah we may not face the same backlash from society that a non-cis or non-het person would for our asexual/aromantic identity exclusively, but since when was being LGBT+ defined by how much you suffer? I don’t know about you, but as both an asexual and as a non-binary person, or even as a mixed-race individual, having my validity be measured by what level of suffering I face seems really shitty and inaccurate.
As sexual and romantic minorities making up the LGBT+ community, we are not going to be the same and we are not all going to have the same experiences. Even between people who identity the same as us (remember that intersectionality I talked about?). Our identities aren’t a contest. We shouldn’t treat them like one. If an ace person doesn’t have the same experiences as you who cares, well duh.
You know what? This doesn’t even apply to just ace and aro people. This can be said about bi people, pan people, gay people, trans people, non-binary people, intersex people, poly people, anyone in the LGBT+ community. We aren’t all going to share experiences, or always have things in common. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t have solidarity with each other despite that.
If someone feels safe being in a particular space, why act like you need to kick them out? Especially since however they identify probably isn’t affecting or hurting you personally. Ace and aro people aren’t actively trying to ruin everything in the LGBT+ community for you. And if you feel that way about an ace or aro person you come across, then it’s probably on the individual and not the community as a whole.
And even if after everything I just said, you still want to be an exclusionist, then at least take away from this that when a person says they are ace or aro, you shouldn’t make assumptions about them right away. Whether you like it or not, some ace people just are LGBT+.
People who intentionally call themselves aphobes and joke about being aphobic are tumblr’s equivalent of “you called me a bitch. a bitch is a dog. dogs bark. bark is on trees. trees are nature. nature is beautiful. so, thanks for the compliment sweaty :)) “
this is just my opinion, but telling women they can’t be asexual because ‘evil patriarchy oppressed them into hating their own sexuality’ is just about as patronizing as the evil patriarchy itself
thank you for telling us we have been completely 100% brainwashed and cannot tell socialised discomfort with sexuality from the lack of attraction and desire to have sex, thank you for taking away any agency we have and telling us what to do and how to think because you have to since poor, weak women cannot think and decide for themselves, you’re an asshole
I saw some bullshit on Instagram saying asexuals aren't lgbtq because we don't face homophobia or transphobia. I proved that bitch wrong with examples of both. asexual face "homophobia" when people say we are less than human, confused, or receive rape threats by people who want to fix us. we face "transphobia" when people tell us we're denying our biology or have lost what makes us human. I've had people tell me I'm crazy and then I turn to the lgbtq community and hear the same. FUCK OFF HATERS!
I wouldn’t say we experience homo- and transphobia precisely, but we certainly get a lot of the same things thrown at us. You can always find the same “arguments” in a lot of the things said against lgbtqia+ people.
But I promise ace discourse within the queer community is pretty much exclusively an internet thing (and even on the internet aphobes are the minority). I know a lot of lgbtqia+ people in real life and none of them ever said anyhing aphobic. In rl queer spaces, we are completely accepted and actually visible. So don’t let some internet aphobes get under your skin, aces are lgbtq!
What is so hard to understand and accept about the phrase “I’m hurting”???
You’d think the rest of the LGBT would understand better than anyone what its like to suffer because of who you are.
But for some indiscernable reason, when aces and aros try to explain their experiences and what they face in society, all of a sudden it’s a competition??
“You don’t have it THAT bad!” “That’s nothing compared to what x people face!!”
In all my years, I’ve never had a harder time with any of my identities. I’d say even being trans is easier to deal with because my negative experiences as a trans person are never invalidated to try to prove a point.
My experiences as an acespec arospec person, however, have been treated as fictitious, as overreactions, and I’ve been told that my very real, traumatizing experiences when coming out as ace were “nothing compared to REAL trauma from ‘coming out’ as LGBT.”
I’ve been told that my experiences were the result of misogyny, even though I’m not a woman. I’ve been told that compulsory heterosexuality and the threat of conversion rape do not effect me, because I’m ace and aro, not gay.
Worst of all, I’ve been ignored when I talk about how I grew up being told and treated like I was a fucked up, broken waste of space, and that only three years ago did I even have a response to defend myself because my “condition” was still listed and treated as a mental illness by psychiatrists (and still is, if they are unaware of asexuality and aromanticism, because the definitions are still listed.)
I do not care if you want to fight about whether aces and aros belong in the LGBT. I do not care if you want to ignore ace history or our long involvement with the LGBT. I do not care if you want to argue about any of it.
But you cannot, CANNOT, continue to talk and behave as though aces and aros do not experience any repercussions of our identities. You cannot pretend that we don’t deal with functioning in a heteronormative society that “others” us from them as much as you do. And you CANNOT tell people who are hurting that they are not hurting, that their hurting is “not as bad as someone else’s,” or that their hurting doesn’t count because you think it was inflicted for other reasons.
Suffering is suffering, and even if you hate us so much that you don’t want to unite with us against the same people causing both our suffering, the least you can do is not erase that suffering.
I cannot for the life of me understand why the majority of the otherwise lovely SJ-minded tumblr is so viciously and dismissively aphobic. I’ve unfollowed a bunch of people recently for treating this all like a joke. Seriously, how hard can it be to have a shred of goddamn empathy for people who are also marginalized???
Sorry you’ve had to deal with that, honey. We’ve recently had a few troll anons because an informational post of our somehow made it to the asshole side of tumblr. We just deleted them. With anon ‘trolling’ it’s best not to give them attention, because all they want is to be able to say that they got a rise out of you. They want to go back they their troll communities (or wherever they gather) and say ‘see, those ________ are clearly like this” or whatever. Don’t try and argue with them, because their mind is already set on one idea of you or a whole group of people. You won’t change their mind. And asking them to stop will only make it worse.
The best thing you can probably do right now is delete all those messages, and either close your askbox or set it to only accept non-anons.