me: i want a partner so bad
my greyromantic ass: lol k
Just because you aren’t romantically attracted to someone, doesn’t mean you can’t love them.
It doesn’t mean you can’t be in a relationship.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy traditionally romantic or romantic-coded things.
It doesn’t mean that you’re limited in any way.
Your identity says nothing about what you enjoy, who you are with or how you feel about someone.
You do you, and let labels come later.
this is meant to be a comprehensive list (to the best of my limited abilities) of aro-spectrum and ace-spectrum identities. all the posts I saw had like 3 choices or a hundred, and I wanted something that was accurate and had a lot of research behind it…so I made it myself. I wrote the definitions, based on preexisting ones, for additional clarity and context.
anyone a-spec, questioning, or simply wanting to know more about our community is free & encouraged to reblog!
*”romantic/sexual” is in the definitions because the labels apply to both spectrums unless -romantic or -sexual is in the name
Asexual : not feeling sexual attraction to any gender(s)
Things that are completely separate from being asexual (but can be related): libido, sex drive, being a virgin, having/had sex, being sex positive/neutral/repulsed, and platonic, romantic, & familial love
Apothisexual : asexual that is sex repulsed
Aromantic : not feeling romantic attraction to any gender(s)
Things that are completely separate from being aromantic (but can be related): shipping, fantasizing about relationships and love, wanting a close relationship, been/being in relationships, being romance positive/neutral/repulsed, and platonic, sexual, & familial love
Apothiromantic : aromantic that is romance repulsed
Apath- : romance/sex neutral, regardless of orientation or attraction felt
Cupio- : not feeling romantic/sexual attraction but still desiring a relationship of that nature
Gray- : feeling romantic/sexual attraction weakly, rarely, only under certain conditions, or all of those. also an umbrella term for between allo and asexual/aromantic. may or may not desire a relationship.
Demi- : feeling romantic/sexual attraction only after an emotional bond is formed. the bond strength and time before attraction can vary between the demi person and the person they’re attracted to.
-Flux : (aroflux or aceflux) their orientation fluctuates, but always stays on the aromantic/asexual spectrum
Lithro-/Akoi-/Akoine-/Apo- : feels romantic/sexual attraction and enjoys relationships in theory, but don’t need/want those feelings reciprocated or to be in a relationship. (there are several labels because the original, from litho, is argued to be appropriated from lesbian butch culture, so wouldn’t recommend using it.)
Recipro- : feeling romantic/sexual attraction only to people who feel it for them, they reciprocate the type of the attraction
Fray- : feeling romantic/sexual attraction when less familiar with a person, but it fades as they get to know them better (sometimes described as the opposite of demi)
Aego- : enjoys the idea of romance/sex, but doesn’t wish to participate in it or related activities (based off autochoris– : a disconnection between the person and a romantic/sexual target or fantasy)
Quoi/WTF- : feeling unsure if romantic/sexual attraction is being felt and/or if they experience it. feeling as if the concept of that type of attraction is inaccessible, inapplicable, and/or nonsensical. (Another commonly used definition that isn’t correct is for the term below, so use that instead.)
Platoniromantic : feels no distinction between platonic and romantic attraction
Idemromantic : feels romantic and platonic attraction similarly so they are not particularly distinguishable from each other. categorizes platonic and romantic relationships based on external factors such as age, compatibility, closeness, etc. they mean different things and can be categorized, but feel the same.
Requies- : little to no romantic/sexual attraction due to trauma, possibly caused by bad past experiences with the type of attraction, or mental/emotional exhaustion
Caed- : used to feel romantic/sexual attraction, but doesn’t anymore due to trauma
Apres- : feels romantic/sexual attraction after another form of attraction is felt, and the original may or may not fade/be replaced by the new attraction
-Vague : (arovague or acevague) their a-spec status is uncertain or affected by mood
Burst- : romantic/sexual attraction comes and goes, may or may not have a reason
Nebularomantic : difficult or impossible to tell romantic and platonic attraction apart because of their
neurodivergency or they’re platoniromantic
Novi- : feels complicated romantic/sexual attraction so it can’t be described in a single label
Quasiromantic : “someone who identifies as quasiromantic may see their attraction as non-traditional or may feel it differs from crushes, perhaps a mix between platonic, romantic, aesthetic, or somewhere completely different and/or it involves other non-traditional aspects, such as rare attraction, or attraction but non-physical, non-platonic but romantic, etc.” -general def
S.A.M : split attraction model. most used in the a-spec community, it means that romantic and sexual orientations are different and separate. for example, someone could be homoromantic asexual, or aromantic bisexual. in the case of someone who is, for example, panromantic and pansexual, they can just state their orientation as pansexual, as there is no need for the SAM. however, it’s totally optional! if you feel, for example, asexual is your orientation and doesn’t need other labels, that’s fine!
Q.P.R. : queerplatonic (or quasiplatonic if the participants are not LGBT+) relationship. this is a type of relationship created by aro people for aro people, but anyone of any sexuality can be in one if they wish! it is defined as “a relationship that is not romantic but involves a close emotional connection beyond what most people consider friendship. The commitment level in a queerplatonic relationship is often considered to be similar to that of a romantic relationship. It may include any romantic or sexual elements the people in the relationship feel they want, or none at all.” -Aven Wiki
Peach Fuzz : qpr partners (known as zucchinis) pretending their relationship is romantic to avoid questions and explanations
Positive/Neutral/Repulsed : labels used to describe how someone feels about sex or romance in relation to them. positive: willing to be in that kind of relationship and/or do related things; neutral: indifferent, almost apathetic to the idea of sex/romance, doesn’t care too much if they give and/or receive it; negative/repulsed: actively disgusted by the idea of sex/romance. can also describe a person’s attitude about sex in general (not used in this post).
Amatonormativity : society treating romantic relationships as more valuable/better than non-romantic ones, and generally that a romantic and sexual relationship is the end goal and necessary (it’s really not)
Nonamory : doesn’t want to be in a romantic relationship, regardless of orientation
Aromate : a platonic soulmate, aka an aromantic partner
Lush : sensual attraction crush
Plush : queerplatonic crush
Smush : sexual attraction crush (can be considered lust if applicable)
Swish : aesthetic attraction crush
Squish : platonic attraction crush, usually more intense than “want to be friends”
Soft Romo : subdued romantic attraction
Post Rubor : gets quick crushes (of any type of attraction), but once the initial excitement fades, their feelings do too
Aplatonic : as platonic attraction is on a spectrum just like every other type of attraction, this is being on the lack-of end. not experiencing platonic attraction
Placio- : little/no desire to receive
sexual/romantic acts, but wants to perform them on someone else. not specifically an a-spec term but is used more in the community
Alterous : attraction that isn’t completely platonic or romantic, somewhere in between, but still a desire for emotional closeness. used as -alterous, like -sexual or -romantic. can also experience romantic and/or platonic attraction, but feel some level of discomfort by categorizing it as fitting in those labels.
*remember, even for people who use the same label, it’s different for everyone, as are most things here! if you’re questioning and looking at this list to try and see where you fit, there’s no rush. take it slow and think about it.
feel free to add on! I’m sure I’ve missed some key terms or amazing identities because there’s so many out there and I’d love to see this post grow!!
Simple definition posters for some of the aromantic spectrum
- “rockabye” by clean bandit & sean paul & anne-marie, dedicated to single mothers and their struggles with raising their children
- “at my best” by machine gun kelly & hailee steinfeld, about believing in yourself, a great reminder that you don’t live for other people
- “conqueror” by estelle & jussie smollett & the empire cast, about getting back up after you’ve fallen down, to never give up
- “F.F.F.” by bebe rexha & g-eazy, title stands for ‘fuck fake friends’, great for your friendship angst needs
- “in the name of love” by martin garrix & bebe rexha, not really sure if this is romantic, but it’s about trust and i feel like it could easily apply to friendships and other emotional bonds
- “john doe” by b.o.b & priscilla, about addictions, powerful
- “scars to your beautiful” by alessia cara, dedicated to girls who don’t feel beautiful
- “see you again” by wiz khalifa & charlie puth, about losing a friend
- “can’t bring me down” by exo, has a fantastic ‘fuck you’ attitude, i’ve noticed it very accurately describes the oppressed vs society
- “don’t worry, my dear” by do kyungsoo & jo jungsuk, about letting go of your past and your hardships, so pretty and soothing
- “fly” by jessica, about not giving up on your dreams
- “i” by taeyeon, about getting through difficult times and loving yourself
i don’t know what genre this is:
- “sound the bugle” by bryan adams, about not giving up
- “you can’t take me” by bryan adams, the title sums it up pretty well
please note that the songs might contain certain content like language, triggering topics, gendered words, etc.
I’ve found some more!
“This is Where I Belong” by Bryan Adams, the title sums it up well. I love it so much, it’s a beautiful song.
“Fractures” by Illenium & Nevve, another gorgeous song.
“Medals” by Lu Han, about continuing to keep going even when it’s hard.
“Palette” by IU & G-Dragon, a cute song about being 25.
“Reverie” by Illenium & King Deco, sounds like a wonderful song for friends.
“Stronger” by EXO, similar to the one above.
“I’ll Be By Your Side” by Coffee Boy & Haeun, similar to the two above.
And a few more!
“Love Myself” by Hailee Steinfeld, an awesome bop.
“Most Girls” by Hailee Steinfeld, a response to that dreaded phrase “you’re not like most girls”.
“Been Through” by EXO, I feel like this works well for friends going through hard times together.
“Home” by MGK & X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha, a song for the times when you’re angry at the world for being unfair.
“Broken People” by Rag’N’Bone Man & Logic, pretty sure this is about overcoming.
It’s aromantic awareness week!
An aromantic person is someone who doesn’t feel romantic attraction. This is the briefest description ever though, so if anyone wants to know more about it just shoot me a message and I’d be happy to answer any questions!
Note: Obviously not all aromantic people value friendship or other relationships more than alloromantic people (people who DO feel romantic attraction), and those aro people are just as valid and nice! <3
Apparently there are a lot more ace youtubers that I missed on the last list…
The descriptions for each channel are pretty much just copied and pasted from their channel descriptions. Unless they didn’t have a description, in which case I just wrote ‘vlogger’.
Please note: All the content of the channels below may or may not reflect the views or opinions of this blog or it’s moderators. Nor is all of it safe for work or free of problematic elements. Please use your own discretion.
Note 2: If your favorite youtuber is not on this list, feel free to add on!
- Aaron Ansuini: A trans ace vlogger who talks about both asexuality, being trans, video games, art, and motivation; Twitter
- Abbie Wells: Aspec singer, actress, and vlogger; Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram
- Aced It!: We are just a handful of Ace/Aro YouTubers who wanted to make a community to chat! Hang out let’s talk! ; instagram
- Ace Ideas: We are a diverse group of asexuals here to share our knowledge, experiences, passions, hobbies, and stories surrounding our asexuality.; Facebook, tumblr, twitter
- Aceland Alexander Kent: Transgender-Male, Homoromantic, Aceflux-Asexual musician and vlogger. He used to run the queer information channel, Questions and Queeries ; Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, BandCamp
- Ahsante the Artist: Artist, Storyteller, Harvard 2015. A place for educated discussion, spirited lifestyle, cultural critique, creative reflection, and the silly goings on in the life and mind of Ahsante; website, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Portfolio website, Patreon
- Androigynous: Hey guys! Andie here.
Your resident cat girl.
You’ll find gameplay, art, unboxings and feline vlogs!
There’s something for everyone. ✨; instagram, facebook
- Antastesia: A French asexual feminism/lifestyle/travel/vegan vlogger; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, professional website
- Anthony Pero: Posting funny videos and skits with the purpose of making people laugh. I like to focus on anything from serious topics like depression to goofier subjects like my Facebook newsfeed. My channel also consists of parodies of people I know, things I see, or random events that I think need to be spoofed; Twitter, Facebook, Instagram
- ArtByFlan: Sometimes I draw things. Sometimes I record myself drawing things. Sometimes I post videos of myself drawing things here!; tumblr, deviantart, facebook, twitter
- Asexualise My Asexual Life: Asexualise Your Asexual Life: Empower And Enhance Your Asexual Life. Giving Asexuals a voice in the world. It is my mission to give asexuals a voice in the world; to empower other asexuals to be comfortable and confident with their asexuality; and to give insight into my colourful asexual life, to enable others to better understand their own and to know they are not alone. I want to educate others about asexuality, so that in the future, all asexuals can live in society happily.; twitter, facebook
- Autistic Asexual fangirl Adventures: just a vlog page, random ramblings and adventures of a autistic asexual and geek who wants to try and make the word a better place.; twitter
- BaptismOnFire: My name is Jack, I love horror and all things creepy. Here you’ll find videos about nightmares, monsters, creepypasta and generally spooky things! Remember to watch the skies, stay paranoid and trust no one…; Twitter, Tumblr, DeviantArt
- Blue Phoenix Ace: American ace education vlogger. My goal is to educate people about Aromanticism and Asexuality, because maybe it will help someone learn the truth about themselves before they hit the age of 37!; music channel, Website, Soundcloud, Facebook
- BreakfastAlexis: An asexual artist who creates animatics; tumblr, twitter, redbubble
- Brian Langevin: Occasional videos discussing asexuality and life in general! This channel also hosts an archive of Everything’s A-Okay – a project Brian Langevin started alongside the project’s writer, Amy Liang, to bring greater visibility to asexuality; Twitter
- Channel for Positivity l Understanding l Justice: Demisexual Korean-American motivational vlogger. Stay woke. See BOTH Sides. Social Justice. Bite-Sized Politics. Build more POSITIVITY 😀 Pragmatic Utopian. Diversity. Understand Humans & Relationships. Embrace Progress.; twitter, tumblr
- Christi Kerr: This channel is a mix of whatever I like to do, which mainly includes vlogging but could include any number of things; Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, SnapChat, Instagram
- Christine Sydelko: The youtube channel of vine-star/popular internet comedian and her boyfriend; Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat
- Clara Unleashed: Denmark based asexual/biromanic vlogger. They also run the aspec focused youtube channel, My Ace Experience ; Instagram, Twitter, Tumblr
- Cultlleader: Asexual Vlogger; Instagram, twitter
- curlybobofelia: UK based asexuality Awareness, LGBTQ, Mental Health Awareness, Disability Rights, Child Rights & Anti-bullying Advocate vlogger; Tumblr, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram
- Dylan Tyler: I’m Dylan, and I suck at writing the intro things, so let’s just eat a lot of popcorn together and do an unhealthy amount of binge watching. Subscribing makes it easier to find me when you’re up for binging 🙂 ; instagram, twitter
- ElectraSnow: Demisexual artist, makeup artist, and special effects makeup expert: Twitter, Etsy, Tumblr, Facebook
- Elisa Hansen/Maven of the Eventide: Voraciously vivacious Vampire Reviews. The Maven peers into the realms of the creatures of the night for a humorous analysis of vampires in media and pop culture; Twitter, Facebook
- Embly: 18 years old, also the cutest small potato in the neighbourhood, wine mum, also very salty and nostalgic over a jam sandwich she lost over 2 years ago; Twitter, Instagram
- Estelle Z: Music, vlogs, scrapbooks, and whatever else I happen to fancy; Tumblr, Twitter, Soundcloud, Facebook, Patreon, Gumroad
- happy fish: Autistic, mentally ill, queer, nonbinary person vlogging about my life and trying to pretend I know how to function as an adult.; etsy, tumblr
- Heroic Pages: Canadian, lover of books, films and imagination…and also a huge nerd!! Critter! Very much an unapologetic introvert (INTJ) ACE hermit cat lady den mother!; twitter, instagram, goodreads
- JakeMale TV: I do Comedy sketch videos but also Vlogs! I share my life experiences with you so you can laugh at my mistakes. I have funny moments in my life, come and join me living my life. Click on ‘SUBSCRIBE’ to be told when I upload a new video! I advice it, MY LIFE IS WEIRD! I also do a University Advice series!; twitter, facebook, vimeo
- Jeff Miller: Demiromantic/demisexual transmasculine musician, actor, and all around content creator; Patreon, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr
- janeil darnell: An aroace vlogger; twitter
- jennaclarek: Heteroromantic asexual. I just graduated college with a BS degree (get it) in Audio/Video Production. I’m also obsessed with Taylor Swift, strawberry cake, and musicals. I mostly make videos about books, but I also make videos about my life, my faith, and the other things I enjoy!; goodreads, twitter, tumblr, instagram, bandcamp
- Jourdann: A channel that’s all about ships (the tv kind), college life, and artsy videos; Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram
- kaihugstrees: Non-binary asexual. I make videos every week about my life, from travel vlogs and challenges to videos about mental health, disability, and queer topics; Twitter, Tumblr
- Kelly McCraw: Akoiromantic Asexual vlogger
- Marshall John Blount: Just an Ace guy trying to make it through life…This vlog will be about my everyday life and Asexual awareness…..I hope y’all will tag along on this interesting journey with me 💜💜
- marsisnotcreative: Brazilian vlogger. Does covers of songs, videos chatting about stuff i enjoy, giving opinions, rants about some things that bother me, pseudo-artsy videos; twitter, tumblr, instagram
- megathornberryy: Aspec book reviewer and vlogger; Goodreads, Twitter, Instagram
- Milo Stewart: My name is Milo and my pronouns are they/them. Gender confused college kid named “YouTube’s most controversial trans vlogger” by The Daily Dot; Twitter, Instagram
- Mikey Neumann (of Chainsawsuit Original): Ace president of Chainsaw Original and film critic ; Twitter, Website
- moonchild: My channel covers a large variety of topics and genres, some of which include asexuality, body modifications, mental health, with the occasional story time or rant video thrown in; Tumblr
- Overlysarcasticproductions: Sarcastic, yet informative, summaries of classic and not-so-classic literature and mythology, as well as major historical events! (Red has stated that she is asexual); threadless, cafepress, twitter
- Peach The College Girl’s Vlog: Asexual Biromantic gaming channel ;twitter, twitch, snapchat
- Phoebe Saturn : i make youtube videos as a hobby and hopefully have a positive impact on your day :] ; twitter
- ppusherr: Gender, Sexuality, and Social Issues solved with Positivity and Education; Tumblr
- punkygirlontherock: Asexual Canadian vlogger
- Ricky Dillon: American YouTube personality and singer-songwriter; Book website, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, Spotify
- Sally Le Page: Grey-ace UK vlogger. Aims to bring science further into popular culture by making science videos that make you laugh, make you feel and make you think; Website, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Flickr
- sara elizabeth: Demisexual American make-up vlogger. i’m sara and i’m sorta obsessed with makeup and musicals; twitter, instagram
- Sebastian Columbine: A horror and surrealist, filmmaker and artist in Los Angeles, California. This youtube channel surrounds Sebastian’s unique style, both in terms of fashion and beauty, as well as their lifestyle and artistic endeavors; Professional blog/website, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Patreon
- skellydun: life is an experience. here are some of mine; Tumblr
- SixFootNerd: British, six foot and a total nerd! Just someone talking about Movie/Tv News, Events, Reviews and Discussions; Twitter, Tumblr
- Sophie Foster: Demisexual/biromantic fashion, makeup, and lifestyle vlogger from the UK; Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram
- SoulOfEbony: I wanna scribble cartoons for a living and make people smile.; tumblr, twitter
- Taye Nic: I’m just an 20 year old college student who is trying to live for the first time:) Lol, I just got into makeup! I also love making things, broadway, Disney, my boho chic style lol and NYC more than anything else! I also love to make friends so stop by; twitter, instagram, pinterest
- The Asexual Goddess: Ace and in your face. I’m actually an introvert so i don’t know how that works
- TheGothicAlice: Asexual Aromantic artist, Manic Panic dyehard, horror junkie, cynic, and part time model; facebook, Etsy, Tumblr
- TheMysteriousMrEnter: Asexual/Aromantic animation reviewer; DeviantArt, Tumblr, Twitter, TvTropes, Facebook,
- Vivi Addams: Feel free to hang around for a while, watch some Lego animations, hopefully subscribe… Enjoy!; Tumblr, Twitter