Category: arospec

Regular

whatsnew-lgbtq:

Platonic love is real love and shouldnt be treated like less becuase it isnt romantic. Defining love as only romantic is a terrible concept. You should be able to love people in a platonic way as much as romantic way and not be seen as less

Regular

360degreesasthecrowflies:

“When I was a kid, the most thrilling thing that could happen to me was getting permission to have a friend stay the night. These sleepovers were so much fun that I was sure when I grew up I would live in a giant house with all of my friends forever. (I never wondered who would do the dishes.) Nearly everyone I know had similar daydreams, but this is something we are supposed to grow out of, and replace with daydreams about living with a romantic partner. This isn’t entirely going as planned for our society. It seems like every few weeks an article is circulated that inspires a giant online hand-wringing about millennials resisting committed romantic relationships, or Gen Xers continuing to have roommates. (“The millennial generation lacks the ability to love!” “Meet the people flatsharing in their 40s!”) We’ve collectively decided that people who live with their friends have failed terribly, people who live with a partner have achieved incredible domestic success, and people who live alone or don’t centre their lives around romance are possibly just broken. We are all encouraged to work hard to have stable lives. But at the same time, we’re encouraged to anchor our lives around the relationship that is the least stable. It is uncomfortable to think of romantic love in those terms, but it’s not inaccurate.”

Audra Williams, from this National Post article “Why living with your friends doesn’t make you a bad adult”. Really interesting and valid as an observation of the state of our society nowadays and the fact that focus on marriage as ‘success’ is totally ideological, but it also resonated with me as a defense of asexuality; and ace, aro issues. Romance does not have to rule your life.

Check out more of Audra’s work and words [right here]

arofili: “Are aromantics heartless witches?…

arofili:

“Are aromantics heartless witches? Not all of them, but I am!”

Found this video on YouTube, it’s a great overview of aromanticism ! That one joke got me laughing 🙂

Regular

aro-positivity:

a guide for the questioning aro: a masterlist

there is an exact copy of this masterlist under the “resources” tab on my blog!

finding out your romantic orientation can be a struggle. it’s laborious, intense, and often unrewarding. there’s a dearth of information available to aro and aro spec people, and that’s a shame.

i’ve compiled a list of the links and resources that helped me the most: from the blogs that helped explain what aromanticism was to the positivity blogs that helped me not feel so alone. hopefully this helps someone out, because no one deserves to feel like they’re groping in the dark when it comes to something as vital as your identity.

(if there’s something that helped you out, message me, and i’ll add it to the list!)

definitions: what is aromanticism? (and all the other words associated with it)

AVEN Wiki — fairly basic. kind of clinical, really only for people with zero understanding of aromanticism. good as a tool to help explain to cishets.

About Asexuality and the Ace/Aro Spectrum — goes into the types of attraction that different people can experience. explains the difference between sexual and romantic orientation a little better.

That’s So Aromantic — a psychology today article that is a bit like the last source, but with more attached resources and extra definitions for words like queerplatonic and amatonormativity. 

Turtle Analogy — a cute sketchy comic that explains aspec orientations in the easiest possible way.

AACE Club Resources — some definitions about aro spec identities and more resources.

5 Myths About Aromanticism — a buzzfeed article. pretty self-explanatory, but something i had to come to grips with was all the stereotypes about aro people—that we’re cold, unloving, etc. this definitely helped with that.

Meet the Aromantics — stories from actual aros on their experiences with being aro, and what that meant for them. this helped a lot in validating my own feelings and experiences.

Aromantics Just Wanna Be Your Friend — a vice article. combines definition and testimony into one well-written package.

Amatonormativity — a definition, written by the person who coined the word. also includes its own resources that you may find helpful.

am i aromantic?

if you’re here, you’re probably already questioning your romantic orientation, or maybe you’re just trying to learn more about the subject. either way, this list, compiled by anagori, is things they’ve seen in themself and other people. they also have a really good linkspam.

so you’ve realized you’re aromantic. now what?

chances are you’re probably gonna want to read up some more on the subject, whether on aromanticism in general, or queerplatonic relationships, or alterous attraction. here’s a few things to help you do that.

Commitment in Relationships for Celibate Asexuals and Aromantics — this article just resonated with me in a way that i can’t fully explain. in it, the author (of whose pronouns i am unsure of) discusses levels of commitment, and how to attain them in an increasingly amatonormative world.

Experiences of Loving — an analysis on the different types of love and how powerful non-romantic love can be. 

related blogs to send asks to/follow any inactive blogs on this list are here purely for the archives.

Aro-Ace Place

Ace and Aro Positivity

Arospec Awareness Week — this links straight to their resources page, which was incredibly helpful. the blog itself is inactive.

Hugs and Squishes — a blog that showcases queerplatonic feelings and relationships, as well as intense platonic feelings. no romance involved.

Queerplatonic and Aromantic Advice — somewhat inactive, but the archive is useful.

Aro Ace Nesting Place

Aro Support — also inactive.

Asexual and Aromantic Support Group

A-Spec People Are Beautiful

Positivity and Reassurance Blog for A-Spec People

(my follow page is also public. i follow mostly aro positivity blogs, with a few blogs that post both aro and ace content, and one or two blogs that post generalized LGBT stuff.)

Regular

aro-positivity:

psa: just because you don’t feel romantic love doesn’t mean you don’t feel love in general

challenge the idea that the most important kind of love is romantic!!! fuck that!!! love your friends!! love your qpps!! love your family!!!

on the flipside, if you don’t love anyone that doesn’t make you any less of a person!!

you are valid and powerful and important no matter what!!!!

love (or the lack thereof) doesn’t take away your personhood

Are there any resources for figuring out if yo…

Are there any resources for figuring out if you're aromantic? I don't know how to tell. I mean, I get what I call crushes, but I get them on any guy who pays attention to me. And then if I ask myself if I want to kiss them or hug them, I realise I don't. But I still like the idea of dating? I want to date (or just become better friends with?) guys that pay attention to me, and date (but really just stare at) attractive guys. I already know I'm ace too. Do you know of anything that could help?

I know that feel. I like it when people pay attention to me and complement me, which was a tad confusing when I first figure out my aromanticism. There’s also aesthetic attraction, where you just like the way someone looks, that can often be confused for a crush. Like, you stated, I asked myself if I was ever interested in kissing or holding hands with anyone, and I realized I didn’t want that at all. But I’m romance repulsed and don’t like people touching me in general, where you might not be. Arospec people dating is fairly uncommon but not unheard of. They can be romantic, sexual, sensual, platonic, etc. It’s up to you to figure out and we learn best about what we like and don’t like from experience. Though, I do recommend telling any partner that you’re aromantic and/or asexual before you start a relationship, just so they know and can decide if they are okay with possible limitations you might set. 

I find that it helps to do research on aromanticism by looking through aromantic blogs, AVEN, aromantic reddit, and videos by arospec people discussing their orientation.

Help? Im currently in a relationship but i..i …

Help? Im currently in a relationship but i..i think I might be aro..? But i mean, i feel love, but with all my relationships i just stopped feeling it towards the other person (romantically anyway) and i think thats what i’m feeling now, and i dont know what to do! Can anyone help me?

Have you heard of 

Akoiromantic/lithromantic or Freyromantic?

Definitions:

Akoiromantic/lithromantic: A person who experiences romantic attraction, but has their feelings fade if reciprocated. Can also be defined as someone who doesn’t care or want their feelings reciprocated.

Freyromantic: 

Feels attraction to strangers/those they don’t know well, but fades once they know them better. (Opposite of demisexual.)

You may also have been experiencing aesthetic attraction (liking the way someone looks) and confusing it romantic feelings, which is common. 

If you feel weird or uncomfortable being in a romantic relationship, you don’t have to stay in it. Just reassure your partner that it’s not about them and they did nothing wrong. If you do want to continue the relationship, that’s fine too. There are arospecs who date, some are even married. However, you should tell your partner that you might be aromantic/arospec after you do some research and soul searching. You’ll probably have to explain what that means and set boundaries for your relationship. They might even decide that it’s not the type of relationship they want. Its hard to take, but it’’ll probably save you time in the long run.

Links:

Hiya, is it alright if I dump a really long as…

Hiya, is it alright if I dump a really long ask in here? I'm not sure whether what I'm feeling qualifies as a squish or not…

From the AVEN Wiki: 

A squish is a strong desire for some kind of platonic (nonsexual, nonromantic) connection to another person. The concept of a squish is similar in nature to the idea of a “friend crush”. A squish can be towards anyone of any gender and a person may also have many squishes, all of which may be active.”

Hiya, I'm not on tumblr a lot so I don&#0…

Hiya, I'm not on tumblr a lot so I don't really know how it works, but I know there's a large ace community on here and I wanted everyone to see/listen to "Never been in Love" by Will Jay, because it's the awesomest ace/aro song I've ever heard, so I wanted to spread the positivity. Would you help me share it please?

Noice! I think we rebloged this earlier, but you should all check it out:

arofili: hi so i just heard this song  and ???…

arofili:

hi so i just heard this song  and ??? i’m crying ???? my aro ass can finally relate to something ???