Category: coming out

Two of my friends found out I have a girlfrien…

Two of my friends found out I have a girlfriend. They promised they wouldn't tell my mom, but they're pressuring me to do so. How to handle?

Dude, your friends need to stay in their own lanes. You can take as much time as you need to tell your mom, because that’s your business. Coming out to a parent is stressful enough without people putting extra pressure on you. Just tell them that you’re not ready and that they’re stressing you out. Good friends will get it and back off. If they don’t, they’re freakin assholes.

Regular

panandasexualpride:

Coming out to my dad

Hey guys. As you know I’m Pan and Asexual. A month ago I came out (as Bi but I did a little more research and I’m Pan but you know what I mean) to the one person that would support me and my journey of being Pan and Asexual. That person is my dad.

When I came out to my dad, I was crying , afraid of what his reaction was going to be. When I finished coming out he pulled me into a hug and said “Ang..I’ll love you know matter what. I’m going to support you with whatever you do.” I cried some more because I was so afraid he wouldn’t love me or accept me anymore. And we talked about who knew and stuff. Then he walked out of my room to let me pull myself together until I heard my mom start yelling.

My mom listend to our conversation outside of my bedroom door. And she was not having it. She didn’t accept me, (and that was also the day I started dating my girlfriend.) She started saying I was raised straight and she was raised straight. It was horrible. My dad defended and saying “THATS OUR DAUGHTER!” And “SHE NEEDS OUR SUPPORT!” I stared crying again because it hurt me when I heard her say it.

I was still crying when my dad walked back into my room and he just hugged me. Telling me it will be ok.

I’m happy my dad accepts me and supports this. I’m going to be ordering the Pan and Asexual flags soon from amazon. And going to pride this year(hopefully)

If anyone of my followers need advice on how to come out or anything feel free to dm or send a message through my ask box.

And I have social media links where I’ll link in the next part.

Remember that you are loved and valid. 💖

I've been worried about coming out as aro…

I've been worried about coming out as aromantic. The reason is, is that I do feel sexual attraction so I don't want people to think I just like to sleep around. I always felt like being aromantic and asexual had to come hand in hand but I've come to terms with how I feel

If you’re worried when you come out that somebody is going to think something that’s not true, address that issue when you come out to them.  

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I JUST HEARD THE BEST STORY ABOUT ASEXUALS EVE…

shinywitcheagle:

So my friends older brother (whose name is Adam) is asexual and is nineteen. He came out to his parents when he was fourteen, but this is how he did it. Adam: mum, dad, I asexual.

 Mum: no you’re not. You’re too young to know that yet.

 Dad: you just think that way, wait till you hit puberty

 Adam: fine then, do you have brown hair? 

Mum: ..yes? 

Adam: no you don’t, you just think that way. You’re too young to know that. Wait till you’ve hit middle age 

Mum: that’s not true I was born like this!! 

Adam: exactly, I was born asexual. 

Dad: ha! I bet you a hundred dollars that you will not be saying that when you’re eighteen 

Fast forward to his eighteenth birthday party. I was there and it was a really nice night, it finally got to the speeches. I watched Adam and he perks up one his father walks on. His father launches into a speech about him growing up, all the jokes and funny stories, one every year. When he gets when Adam was fourteen, Adam stood up and walked over to the mike. He leaned in and said, “Hey Dad, remember when I came out to you as asexual at fourteen?” His Dad laughs, “yes?” Adam then smiles and says, “I’m asexual.” His Dad then laughed and said, “You’re just saying that to get the money aren’t you?” quite a few of people there laughed, (Much to my anger.) Adam just smiled and said, “Alright, since that day, how many girlfriends have I had?” His dad replied, “None.” Adam continued with, “How many times have I brought someone home? how many times have I ever said anyone was sexy, or hot, or talked about wanting to have sex?” his dad, looking flustered, said, “None.” Adam replied. “Exactly, I have always been asexual, and you’ve always been too blind to see it.” By then, the entire room is silent. “That would be a hundred dollars,” Adam says. No one moves, then his sister and I both start clapping. 

I JUST HEARD THE BEST STORY ABOUT ASEXUALS EVE…

shinywitcheagle:

So my friends older brother (whose name is Adam) is asexual and is nineteen. He came out to his parents when he was fourteen, but this is how he did it. Adam: mum, dad, I asexual.

 Mum: no you’re not. You’re too young to know that yet.

 Dad: you just think that way, wait till you hit puberty

 Adam: fine then, do you have brown hair? 

Mum: ..yes? 

Adam: no you don’t, you just think that way. You’re too young to know that. Wait till you’ve hit middle age 

Mum: that’s not true I was born like this!! 

Adam: exactly, I was born asexual. 

Dad: ha! I bet you a hundred dollars that you will not be saying that when you’re eighteen 

Fast forward to his eighteenth birthday party. I was there and it was a really nice night, it finally got to the speeches. I watched Adam and he perks up one his father walks on. His father launches into a speech about him growing up, all the jokes and funny stories, one every year. When he gets when Adam was fourteen, Adam stood up and walked over to the mike. He leaned in and said, “Hey Dad, remember when I came out to you as asexual at fourteen?” His Dad laughs, “yes?” Adam then smiles and says, “I’m asexual.” His Dad then laughed and said, “You’re just saying that to get the money aren’t you?” quite a few of people there laughed, (Much to my anger.) Adam just smiled and said, “Alright, since that day, how many girlfriends have I had?” His dad replied, “None.” Adam continued with, “How many times have I brought someone home? how many times have I ever said anyone was sexy, or hot, or talked about wanting to have sex?” his dad, looking flustered, said, “None.” Adam replied. “Exactly, I have always been asexual, and you’ve always been too blind to see it.” By then, the entire room is silent. “That would be a hundred dollars,” Adam says. No one moves, then his sister and I both start clapping. 

Regular

bigbardafree:

i wish i could just say “im asexual” without having to give a 20 minute lecture about what that means

Coming Out: Tips For Asexuals

theasexuallife:

As some of you already know, coming out of the closet as an asexual can be a difficult thing to do in a world that needs more education about it. This lack of exposure is something that you should try to keep in mind when you talk to your friends or your parents. Here are my tips that could help “make your case” to the people you want to tell.

1. Before anything, arm yourself with knowledge!
I hope that the majority of you can at least define what asexuality is, but just telling someone you don’t experience sexual attraction will probably not be enough. You may need to explain the difference between asexuality and celibacy, for example. Some of you will have to explain that you experience other kinds of attraction (I experience aesthetic attraction). Many will have to clarify that they still find a romantic interest in people (hetero/homoromatics, biromantics, etc) or not (aromantics). The more knowledge you have of your asexuality, the better you can stand your ground. Your chances of people taking you seriously are higher because it shows that you are taking this seriously yourself.

2. Prepare answers for common reactions
This is another reason for the first step. You are more than likely going to come out to people that never heard of asexuality in their life. Now, some reactions are just plain mean. Others may respond with a stereotypical statement not because they are trying to hurt you, but because they do not understand that people can be asexual. This is why coming out should also be your opportunity to teach others about asexuality.
A great post for reactions asexuals get: http://equivamp.tumblr.com/post/37140875838

3. Set up a proper time and place with your friends/parents/etc
Do not just randomly decide that you’re going to mention something to your friends and family because they may think that your asexuality is just a spur-of-the-moment thing too. You want to come across as serious, so tell your friends and family that you want to talk about something very important when you’re both not busy. You want to make sure you will have their full attention at this time and place.

4. Remember to breathe
Coming out can be very nerve-wracking (especially if you’re uncertain how your friends and family will react), so take a few deep breaths if you need to before you begin your dialogue. You may want to recite your opening statements in your head a few times before you talk to your friends and family, just to make sure everything comes out correctly.

5. After coming out, ask if they have questions
Unless you find out that they actually know other asexuals (a happy surprise that I received from a friend I came out to recently), you should always ask if they have questions. Do not assume right away that they 100% understand asexuality, even if you explained a lot to them. This could make you upset down the road if they say something wrong later on.

6. The aftermath
– If your friends and family appear to understand and accept you:
Hooray! But it will probably take some time before they really understand asexuality. I came out to a friend once that seemed completely accepting and happy that I discovered my asexuality, so I made the mistake of assuming she would understand that I’ve always been this way. The next time I visited her, she said, “So, how’s it going? Still asexual?”
– If your friends and family refuse to accept you as asexual:
Sadly, this will happen to some of you. If this ends up happening to you, remember two important things: You have a whole asexual community online (and in person for some of you) that 100% supports you and you are not broken. Please don’t ever think that something is wrong with you just because you’re not like most other people. We aces should be proud of who we are!

Reblog or send me a message if you have more tips on coming out!

I just came out to one of my best friends as a…

I just came out to one of my best friends as a bi-romantic asexual and she was so supportive. I was so nervous and didn't plan on telling her or anyone, but it just came out (haha get it). I feel great right now!!

Aww, that’s wonderful! Its nice that you have such a good supportive friend! 

I recently discovered the term autochorissexua…

I recently discovered the term autochorissexual, and everything just immediately made sense. How do I come out to my family as asexual?

Coming Out: Tips For Asexuals by @asexualityexists