Category: humor

lessonsinsilence: amazingaro: You’re not a REAL aromantic unless you’ve personally beaten Cupid in…

lessonsinsilence:

amazingaro:

You’re not a REAL aromantic unless you’ve personally beaten Cupid in a fist fight

catch me fightin cupid out in a blockbuster parking lot at 0300

period: *is late*

period: *is late*
me, a teenage asexual virgin who doesn’t even go close to guys: oh my god I’m pregnant

bornforloveandrevolution:Asexuals and bisexuals should team up to create even more bad puns

bornforloveandrevolution:

Asexuals and bisexuals should team up to create even more bad puns

asexualmoments: ASEXUAL MOMENT #8: Me, explaining Ace Culture: And there’s also a long ongoing joke…

asexualmoments:

ASEXUAL MOMENT #8:

Me, explaining Ace Culture: And there’s also a long ongoing joke about Aces being cannibals, but no one really knows why.

Friend: I mean… you have to satisfy your cravings for human flesh SOMEHOW.

queer-solidarity: Asexual culture is jamming to songs like “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado despite…

queer-solidarity:

Asexual culture is jamming to songs like “Promiscuous” by Nelly Furtado despite not relating to the song at all.

AND

Aromantic culture is jamming to songs like “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston despite not relating to the song at all.

astandsforawesome:I always thought I was just too young- until I…

astandsforawesome:

I always thought I was just too young- until I looked up and realized I was older. I was older and the “feelings” never came. There was no change in how I saw others, instead I just went along with what was expected of me and then discovered that others weren’t doing the same thing. They acted that way because it’s how they actually felt, I acted that way because I thought it was a joke.

aroacepositivityplace: probablygradrpgideas: probablyfrickenweirdrpgideas: artfromyebard: aroace…

aroacepositivityplace:

probablygradrpgideas:

probablyfrickenweirdrpgideas:

artfromyebard:

aroacepositivityplace:

probablyfrickenweirdrpgideas:

definitelygayrpgideas:

probablyacerpgideas:

aroacepositivityplace:

I love the aro ace archer jokes, but I think we should expand it even further. 

The demi cavalier

The gray mercenary

The flux mage

The lithro fighter

The nebulo cleric

The quoi shape shifter

Apparently what I want is a whole campaign of a-specs, but I digress.

Love them all

quality content!!

BUT WHO PLAYS THE BARD

SHOOT YOU’RE RIGHT.

Cupio bard!

Also, the progression of those url’s is hilarious.

@probablyfrickenweirdrpgideas, hy there

@aroacepositivityplace, actually I am demi (cupio cavalier also has a nice ring to it)

Ey sup

Is anyone a druid…?

Fray druid!

Asexual Humor

asexualitydragon:

Alright, here it is dearies.  Every pun/joke I could find, though some don’t apply to everyone.  Most were listed multiple times throughout Tumblr/online and I couldn’t find an origin, but if any of these are specifically ones you came up with, I apologize, and you should feel free to credit yourself.  If you know more, add on!

Puns

“I got my grade back on my sexuality test- I aced it!”

“Luckily I have an ace up my sleeve… me.”

“Instead of coming out of the closet, I came out of the deck.”

“Guess you could say I ACED that!”

“I find that ACEthetically pleasing.”

“Don’t hug me.  EmbrACE me.”

“If I went into space, I’d be an ACEtronaut.”

“I’m a member of the AVENgers.”

“I’m an agender, aromantic asexual.  I’m Triple A.”

“Asexuals are trustworthy people, we don’t f*ck with anyone.”

“Don’t be a dick, I’m not into those.”

“I literally give no f*cks.”

“If I’m not real, do I have to pay my taxes?”

“My anaconda don’t.  At all.  Please stop.”

“I don’t get it.  Literally.”

“I like my sex like I like my coffee.  I don’t like coffee.”

“My bed is where the magic happens.  And my magic, I mean sleeping.”

“I’m an asexual pirate and I’m not interested in your booty.”

“When I say that I want to Netflix and chill, I mean it literally.”

“I don’t need sex, the government f*cks me everyday.”

Jokes

“How many asexuals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they let others do the screwing/None, they’d rather not.”

“One did one asexual say to the other asexual while they were in bed? Zzzzzzzzz.”

“What do you call an expert archer who is not interested in sex or romance?  An aro-ace arrow ace.”

“What do you call an asexual digging a ditch?  An ace in the hole.”

“What’s the difference between an asexual and a mobile phone?  A mobile phone can be turned on.”

“What’s an asexual’s favorite hardware store?  Ace.”

“What do you call an asexual who’s been frozen solid?  An ACEsicle.”

“How can you find an asexual with a penis in a nudist colony?  It’s not hard.”

“What brand of computer do asexuals use?  Acer.”

“How did the asexual win the tennis match?  He aced every serve.”

“Why can’t you play card games with asexuals?  They always have an ace up their sleeve.”

“Why did the asexual cross the road?  To reach the AVENue.”

“What kind of bandages do asexuals use when they sprain their wrists/ankles?  Ace.”

And the best one, which I have to credit to AVEN user glitchunter:

“What do you call a top asexual fighter pilot who lost a tennis match on the serve to an asexual, who was also a top fighter pilot?

An ace ace aced ace ace.”

How r u asexual wen ur married?

well… i was born asexual and then 21 years later i exchanged vows with my fiance and she was legally proclaimed my wife?

Keep reading

the-weird-chick-in-the-corner: Totally me. I’m always jealous…

the-weird-chick-in-the-corner:

Totally me. I’m always jealous of mens pants. Because POCKETS!!!! Why do guys get all the pockets?!?!?