Category: LGBT

mykidsgay: Defining: LGBTQIA


Defining: LGBTQIA

By Kara Kratcha

Welcome to another installment of our “Defining” series, where we unpack various terms and identities. Do you have a word that needs defining? Let us know!

Define It: 

Ah, that acronym.* Sometimes called “alphabet soup,” the long and often-changing list of letters used to describe non-straight, non-cisgender identities frequently befuddles brains and ties tongues. Before I go any further, let me break it down for you:

LGBTQIA stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, and Asexual/Aromantic.

If you’re not sure what any of these individual words mean, I highly recommend you click on the link for that word and read the previous Defining entry. If you’re new to this LGBTQIA thing, then I recommend you read the entries for the letters after “LG” even if you have some idea of what they mean. I bet you’ll learn something or at least get to consider a new perspective.

Explain It:

There’s no denying that the acronym is clunky, so why do we use it? Although LGBTQIA can be a mouthful, it gives us a way to describe our community in its broadest sense.

Actually, in my experience, the “LGBTQIA community” is more like a group of loosely affiliated communities that sometimes band together out of solidarity, similarity, or necessity. Each LGBTQIA experience comes with its unique challenges and joys. However, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, and asexual/aromantic people all have something in common: we experience gender or gendered attraction and relationships that fall outside the norm. At our best, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, questioning, intersex, asexual, and aromantic people are specially equipped to help each other out, build each other up, and affirm each others’ experiences.

“LGBTQIA” is not a perfect way to describe the affiliations of non-straight, non-cisgender people across identities, and it’s also not definitive. Some people just say “LGBT,” or “LGBT+” if they want to be inclusive but not type or say so many letters. Others argue that the acronym should be longer, often including a “P” to stand for pansexual or sometimes polyamorous, or another A to stand for aromantic or agender.

Still others, myself included, prefer to use “queer” as a broad umbrella term for all of these identities and more. I prefer to call myself “queer” rather than “LGBTQIA” because it is both more accurate and more inclusive. I could accurately say that I am a nonbinary, non-monogamous person on the asexual spectrum with an interest in people of all genders, but that’s honestly more information than I am usually comfortable sharing and more identities than I usually care to explain or justify. Instead, I often just tell people that I’m bisexual since it requires less explaining, but “bisexual” does not capture my full experience. There is very little language available to me that allows me to quickly convey that I don’t identify as precisely male or female, and often I don’t want to out myself as nonbinary for this reason. And that’s not to mention all of the rest of my, well, queer identities! For me, “queer” communicates all of my gender and sexuality experiences in a way that “LGBTQIA” does not.

But “queer” doesn’t work for everyone. Some straight trans women and straight trans men do not identify as queer because they view “queer” as a word related to sexuality rather than gender. For example, a woman who was assigned male at birth and is only attracted to men is a straight woman and may not identify as queer. At the same time, some LGBTQIA folks do not want to be referred to as “queer” because of its history and sometimes continued use as a slur. All of us, LGBTQIA people and allies alike, should respect how each person wishes to be identified by listening carefully to individuals about their experiences and preferences and then using the language that reflects those preferences.

It seems likely to me that the way we talk about ourselves as a community with many different genders, sexualities, and experiences will continue to evolve. As a person whose identities tend toward the neglected or altogether unnamed part of the LGBTQIA acronym, I do often feel alienated from the community as a whole. Still, I appreciate that we are striving to find language that invites all of us in. Ultimately, that is what we hope to do when we string together all of those letters.

Debunk It:

• The “A” stands for “ally.”

Straight and cisgender allies can play excellent supporting roles in LGBTQIA communities and activism, but it is important to remember that allies are not the stars of the show. Asexual, aromantic, and agender identities are forgotten enough without allies claiming the small spotlight of that final letter.

• Intersex, asexual, or aromantic people don’t really belong in the acronym.

If a person feels they are part of the LGBTQIA community, then I believe that person should be welcomed and allowed to explore. Intersex, asexual, and aromantic people experience gender, relationships, and attraction that do not match up with the straight, cisgender norm, and many therefore want or need to participate in the community. We make great advocates and friends, and we need camaraderie and support too.

Plus, every time someone claims that the IA’s don’t belong, that person may well be preventing someone with multiple LGBTQIA identities from feeling safe enough to fully come out to their peers. It’s difficult to feel closeted with other LGBTQ people because they are not accepting of all of your identities. Remember, it’s very possible to claim more than one letter! In my experience, it’s extremely common.

• “LGBTQIA” is always the most appropriate way to refer to a non-straight, non-cisgender person or group of people.

Not every non-straight, non-cisgender person or group of people identifies as lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer/questioning, intersex, and asexual/aromantic. Often it is more appropriate to refer to a person or group of people by their specific, relevant identities. If you mean gay men, say gay men. If you mean trans people, say trans people, and so on. Don’t say LGBTQIA or even LGBT if you have not considered the experiences of TQIA people in what you’re saying or writing. Lumping all LGBTQIA experiences together when you are in fact only talking about a specific group or identity can make people with lesser-known identities feel more erased, not less.

• “But that’s too many letters and corresponding identities to remember!”

I feel you, but putting in the effort to learn about identities that are new to you will make it a lot easier to communicate with and validate your queer and/or trans family member. Besides, the best thing you can do for a loved one who you are trying to understand is ask thoughtful questions and then listen carefully to that person’s answers. Ask questions like, “How do you identify?” and “What does that word mean to you?” The actual person you want to learn about will be able to tell you much better than some definition on the internet.

*Yes, I know that it’s technically an initialism. Don’t @ me, fellow word nerds.

Be sure to check out the rest of The Defining Series right here!


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Ace umbrella identities, not specific to sexua…


I got requested by quite a few people for ace umbrella identities that look at human sexuality from an activity or philosophical point of view, so here’s the most “popular” terms out there.

Keep in mind this is as of January 2018. Some other terms might exist, but if they’re not on this list (as of Jan 2018), it could be that the terms are extremely rare, new, or “lost” to the pages of internet history (or the ace community overall doesn’t feel comfortable with the words).

You can find a list of ORIENTATION/ATTRACTION ace umbrella IDs here:

So onto the list!

  • Parasexual: Being asexual (NO sexual attraction) and having sex ONLY to make babies/reproduce. This is the ONLY reason you have sex.
  • Placiosexual: Wanting to do sexual acts on others but has little to no desire to receive sexual actions
  • Lamvanosexual: Wanting to RECEIVE sexual actions, but has little to no desire to do it to others
  • Autochorrisexual/Aegosexual: A disconnection between one’s self and target of sexual arousal
  • Apothisexual: Someone who is asexual and sex repulsed
  • Pothisexual: Someone who is asexual and sex positive (open to discussions about sex, willing to debate on subjects about sex, overall having a positive mindset in regards to different subjects regarding human sexuality)
  • Agensexual: Someone who is asexual and genitalia repulsed
  • Sanssexual: When there’s no trend line in the attraction and basically it’s a very fluid orientation. Like aroflux, but all orientations, not just aro scale. It means no orientation (sans means without).
  • Aprocreationist: someone who doesn’t feel the need to procreate in any way at any time in their lives. Someone who has no desire to have children in any way at all.
  • Aceflux: believing your sexual orientation constantly changes between allosexual (not asexual) and the asexual umbrella (this is one of the possible definitions I’ve found for this)
  • Dissociatsexual: Whenever engaging in sexual activities, you dissociate on a regular basis and therefore are often very confused about what exactly your sexual orientation is. This is NOT an excuse to not see a professional if you feel this negatively impacts your day-to-day life. 
  • Epicaderesexual:  Feeling sexual attraction only in response to sexual thoughts or feelings expressed by a person one is (potentially) attracted to. (another term for this is “incisexual”, but some ace community folks feel this term is too dangerously close to the word “incest”, so this was an alternative term for it, epicaderesexual)
  • Apressexual: The belief that you only experience sexual attraction, after another form of attraction is felt (platonic, romantic, sensual, etc.)

I’m pretty sure I covered MOST of the more philosophical/actions related ace umbrella terms.

queer-moods: purple + alien asexual moodboard


purple + alien asexual moodboard

vyscera: ✧ Do you wanna believe? Then thes…



Do you wanna believe? Then these designs are for you!

Click the links below for a mug, shirt, sticker, ect

gay trans bi pan poly demi ace aro genderqueer nonbinary demigirl demiboy

agender new: lesbian genderfluid genderflux

EDIT: at request, here’s also a design for the genderfluid, lesbian, and genderflux flags !

floridianace: Reblog this Ace Roman for good …


Reblog this Ace Roman for good luck in 2018 + to remind everyone that aces exist and we are proud as hell to be here



I get frequent asks about what “ace discourse” is, and these asks usually sit in my ask box for a while because – really – there are dozens of answers I could give that define what “ace discourse” is and what it has been, but the common theme in “ace discourse” I have seen is the use of what appears to be social justice rhetoric to undermine the value and experiences of asexual people to the point of manipulating people into viewing their anti asexual attitudes as socially just, which is – in an ironic twist – contrary to the goals of social justice. 

When I was younger, the most common “ace discourse” was about whether or not asexual and ace-spec identities inherently slut shamed women and that asexual and ace-spec women were suffering from internalized sexism. This was around the time “sex positivity” was a big thing on the internet, and asexual and ace-spec people were thrown under the bus during this movement as if our goals were completely contrary to sex positivity and we were a threat to the liberation of women. 

So, I find it sketchy when people try to pin “ace discourse” down to one single argument (i.e. “asexuals are/are not inherently LGBT.”) In doing so, a lot of issues relevant to asexual and ace-spec people are framed within an argument that has nothing to do with what is being discussed. For example, many times an asexual person will discuss an issue relevant to the asexual community which will be followed by reblogs going “this is why asexuals are/are not LGBT” when that isn’t relevant. 

This ignores the historical arguments that have arisen against the existence of asexual and ace-spec people, and weaponizes current issues (such as feminism and LGBT rights and representation) and the investment people have in them to position asexual and ace-spec people as an inherent threat despite the fact that the goals of asexual and ace-spec people can very much coincide with these current issues. This also works to alienate and silence asexual and ace-spec people from issues that immediately effect them.

In addition, by continually positing one’s hatred towards asexual and ace-spec people within the framework of current events and issues, people also position their hatred towards asexual and ace-spec people as a matter of social justice instead of as a virulent hatred for an intrinsic part of one’s identity that does not inherently harm anyone. They also boost voices of asexuals who do hold harmful attitudes in order to prove that their hatred of asexuals is socially just, while ignoring people within their movements who cause as much harm. 

“Ace discourse” has been and will be many different things. It is not a single issue. “Ace discourse” is the persistent villainization and derailing of asexual narratives and experiences to suit a particular agenda. 

“Ace discourse” is built on flawed ideas of asexuality, and involves an excessive use of logical fallacies to treat asexuality as inherently harmful and contrary to “progress.” We need to think of it as separate from intercommunity and intracommunity discussion which is productive and helpful to us. 

adcro: I made a series of images detailing …


I made a series of images detailing the rainbow or pride flags commonly (and sometimes not commonly) seen, with simple definitions for each. I hope I covered everyone!

(PART 1 OF 3)



to the aspec kids who are asked why they don’t have a girlfriend or boyfriend on this holiday: don’t listen to them. you rock, and you don’t need to be in a relationship to appreciate life. 

koralshkeecuje: Yes_we_like-Demi_Lovato.png



I did this pic because of Demisexual Pride Day! I’m both demisexual and -romantic so I combined the flags, specifically I’m demi-pan so that’s why I used the colours for characters!

I drew myself and my demi OCs!

Top row (from left):

  • Iris – demiromantic questioning
  • Ecila – demisexual panromantic
  • Scott – demi-bisexual demi-biromantic
  • Fernando – gray-asexual demiromantic gay

Bottom row:

  • Jessie – demisexual lesbian
  • Dan – demisexual and demiromantic
  • me – demi-pansexual demi-panromantic saphic
  • Lisa – demi-pansexual demi-panromantic
  • Kevin – gray-asexual demi-heteroromantic

I’m not very proud of my sexuality Mostly because I have many problems with myself, my rather conservative family and not-so-supportive environment. I don’t talk about it too much because I’m in closet (and also I had a few problems because of my feelings caused by it) but I want to have at least one day where I can feel at ease with it. Be proud, no matter how loud you are!!

Persian words for sexuality



LGBT (and also Queer) : دگرباشی = Degarbashi 

Genderqueer : خارج از جنسیت = Kharej Az Jenseyat 

Cisgender : هم‌ سو جنسی = Ham So Jensi 

Heterosexuality : دگرجنس‌ گرایی = Degar Jens Garayi 

Homosexuaity : همجنس‌گرایی = Ham Jens Garayi 

Homosexual :  همجنس‌ خواه – همجنس‌گرا = Hamjens Gara – Hamjens Khah 

Bisexual : دوجنس‌گرایی = Do Jens Garayi 

Transgender : ترا جنسیتی = Tara Gensiyati 

Transexual : تراجنسی = Tara Jensi 

Transman : ترا مرد = Tara Mard 

Transwoman :  ترا زن = Tara Zan 

Asexuality : بی‌ جنس‌ گرایی = Bi Jens Garayi 

Pansexuality : همه‌ جنس‌ گرایی = Hameh Jens Garayi 

Polysexuality : چند جنس‌ گرایی = Chand Jens Garayi 

I’d like to also point out that ‘Bi Jens’ also means Non-Binary