I see a bunch of posts saying if your asexuality or aromanticism is caused or influenced by trauma or mental illness or neurodiversity or something, it’s still valid.
I see a lot of posts saying asexuality isn’t something that needs to be cured, that a-spec people aren’t broken and don’t need to be fixed. That people are naturally born this way.
I also see a ton of posts telling everyone it’s ok if their labels change, that sexuality is fluid and identifying as something different before or after or now doesn’t invalidate the person’s orientation at any point. That if it’s useful for the person now, they can use it.
But I don’t see a lot of posts, actually basically none, that actually address the point where those things intersect.
If your asexuality or aromanticism is caused or influenced by something, your orientation is valid, and it doesn’t mean you couldn’t have been a-spec without it. Maybe you were born this way, maybe you were made this way, but no matter how you got here, you are still a wonderful valid person.
You are not broken if you do not feel you are.
It is also completely OK for you to feel like you are.
If you feel your orientation is something that is only temporary, because of mental illness or trauma, and you had labels you identified as before and want to identify as them again, you are so valid.
It is ok for you to think something broke and for you to want to repair or mend it. If you have a bowl because the top part of a clay vase broke, it’s ok to want a vase again. Kintsukuroi creates beautiful art out of broken pottery people mended.
It is also so ok for you to feel like some part of you is broken, and to want to let it remain that way. You don’t have to fix it. People make mosaics out of broken glass, and they are far more beautiful than the beer bottles they came from.
It’s also ok to not know how you feel about it. To feel like some days there is nothing wrong with you and other days to feel that part of you is just shattered shards of something else.
No matter what, you are valid and your experiences and feelings about your orientation are valid.