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Hey, it is okay to not be completely comfortable with your sexuality. Evan Edinger has a really good vid about this.
It is possible for you to have a loving relationship without having sex and you deserve that!! There are ace people out there, allosexuals who are celibate, as well as allosexuals who are willing to not have sex in a relationship.
There are also dating sites/apps for ace people (some are for celibate people who may not necessarily be ace) if you are open to online dating:
-OkCupid has an asexual option
I hope this helps
Hey! If you think you are ace, that is valid despite what age you are. I was around your age when I realised I was asexual and I still am! But additionally its okay to identify as ace now and to not later. Sexuality can be fluid for some people over their lifetime, and that is just as valid as knowing at a young age or finding out later on!!
Hope this helps
I’m so sorry that you and your friends experience that. But it is super awesome that you have ace friends!! I think the main ways are either to try and explain to people what asexuality is. The thing about this is that you shouldn’t have to, explaining your existence can be a lot emotional labour and certain people are not open to understand that not everyone experiences sexual attraction because of how it challenged their preconceived ideas on sex and relationships. You can also ignore them and surround yourself with supportive and affirming people. This however won’t make them stop and I’m sorry its something you have to deal with.
When it comes to coming out to your parents, I hold the belief that you shouldn’t come out if you believe it will be create a harmful and hostile environment because the most important thing is your safety. Your parents you said seem like open people so I would first test the waters by mentioning asexuality in passing, for example, ‘like oh I read this article about this thing asexuality, what do you think about it’. This way you can tell how they feel about it and how flexible their views are. Even if they are comfortable with the concept they may struggle for a while when you come out because their perception of you will have shifted. You do not have to come out, and there is no obligation to come out to everyone. You should only come out to your parents if feel you are comfortable enough to and want to. Good luck with it if you do!!
Hope this helps
No that’s totally fine, asexuality is about not experiencing sexual attraction. Arousal is a physiological response and if you want to act on that response, that doesn’t make you any less ace!!
So @doctordonnadances is doing an MSc at the University of Aberdeen and their thesis is on examining the role of social support in determining resilience in LGBA+ populations, trying to see if it might be an effective target area for intervention and increasing resilience, with a focus on sexual orientations.
If you are comfortable doing so it would be really great if you could help them out by filling in their questionnaire.
Here’s the link: http://viis.abdn.ac.uk/snapwebhost/s.asp?k=149907523291
It totally makes sense, arousal is a physiological response, so you can experience no sexual attraction but still feel arousal and also be sex repulsed. The only qualifier to being asexual is not experiencing sexual attraction.
There is a really good definition of sexual attraction from this AVEN forum (Source)
Sexual attraction – Seeing someone and not only finding them attractive, but thinking you’d like to have sex with them, like fantasies and such. It’s attraction to another person that at it’s end wants to be physically intimate, as opposed to being attracted to someone in a way where you think, “I’d like to get to know them” or “I want to be their best friend” or “I want to be close to that person”.
Sexual desire – The desire to actually follow through with sexual attraction. I don’t consider physiological reactions to be part of sexual desire, really, because in my case I know my body responds to sexual stimulus, the difference is that my mind isn’t interested. So sexual desire is another mental thing, wanting actively to perform sexual acts with another person and believing that if you do you will feel gratified.
I hope this helps
Hey I’m really sorry you feel this way!!
If you’re at university, I would message your LGBT+ society/grouo to see if there is anyone else
AVEN probably have an group specifically for people in Manchester
https://asexualgroups.wordpress.com/ – is a directory of ace facebook groups and there are a couple for the UK, and you could write a message to find other asexuals in Manchester
https://www.meetup.com/topics/asexuality/ – a site for meetups, and this is the asexuality tag, they have a couple of meetups in the UK
fuckyeahasexual discord server – there are different groups in there and you can write a message to find Manchester based asexuals
Also if anyone else lives in Machester and wants to go to Pride, write a message in the notes (I remember we had another ask from an asexual in Manchester)
Hope this helps!!