What a beautiful Mother’s Day to respect trans mothers
“It’s never been easy raising three children, even when they had a mom and a dad. For one parent—a widow? How about a mom whose kids call her ‘Dad’?
“… This bright boy of mine turned to me, clasped my hand, and whispered: ‘I know Mom would love this. She was the best mom ever. But I want you to know, you’re doing a really good job as a mom, Dad.’
“It’s from that, more than anything, that I draw the distinction of mom being my job and it being my name. And it is from my children that I draw my strength on this Mother’s Day. And everyday.”
Happy Mother’s Day to everyone.
Transgender suicide hotline
For my brothers and sisters who are struggling. If you need help, reach out. Your life is worth it.
More information about the hotline <a href=“https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/americas-first-transgender-suicide-hotline-is-now_us_5a3d253ee4b0df0de8b0648c”>https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/americas-first-transgender-suicide-hotline-is-now_us_5a3d253ee4b0df0de8b0648c
Transgender Asexual Aromantic with Alien Themes for anon
You know what I’m curious now what are your tips for going out to get your store bought boobs
i’m so glad you asked because i’ve been meaning to make a post like this for a long time!! i’m always happy to share my bra wisdom. my bra-ledge, if you will.
(in case you didn’t see the post this stemmed from, i will mainly be focusing on first time bra shopping tips for amab people/transfem people but a lot of the info here will just be general bra knowledge that anyone can use.)
**i am an afab person who grew up wearing bras throughout my youth. these are not pieces of advice i have ever personally needed, just things i think might be helpful for first time bra shoppers, and actually a lot of them are questions i regularly get from middle aged cis women. if there’s anything any of you would like more clarity on or another topic you’d like me to cover, i’ll be happy to add onto this post with whatever tidbits i can provide.
**i work in a relatively small store, so my experience and product knowledge is limited by this. however i’ve seen enough product by each brand, either through my own research or through online returns i’ve received, that i feel pretty comfortable in my knowledge of the 2 brands i’m going to be focusing on in this post.
**i work at macy’s and this post is gonna be pretty macy’s centric lmao. neither of these brands are macy’s exclusive, but i will talk about which sales are the best times to buy. if you know how to play the system, you can get these things for CHEAP.
now with all that out of the way, i bring you:
TITTY TIPS FROM YOUR LOCAL NONBINARY BOOB EXPERT
this one comes first because it’s the most important. most bras are approximately $40 at full price which is an enormous ripoff. for as often as these fuckers go on sale, there is no reason you should ever be paying full price. if you take away nothing else from this post, this is the most important.
generally, your bra size is taken by measuring around your ribcage under the breast (band), then again around the widest part of your breast (bust), then subtracting to get your cup size. (this is just a general guideline though and your true fit might vary from this for a variety of reasons.) a difference of 1 inch is an A cup, 2 inches is a B cup, etc. so someone with a bust measurement of 40in and a band measurement of 36in will be a 36D.
this means that CUP SIZE IS RELATIVE. emphasizing that one because people seem to mess this up a lot. the cup size is just a measure of how much bigger your bust is than your band, so your size C might look different from someone else’s size C.
also worth noting is cup capacity. if you go up a band size but down in a cup size (ex: 34DD to 36D), those two sizes will have the same cup capacity. so if a bra fits you really well in the cup but not the band, you can’t just go out and find a bra with the right band size but the same cup size and think that the cup is gonna fit the same. you have to adjust both the band and cup size because again, cup size is relative to the band size. this also means that a 34DD has the same cup capacity as a 40B. that’s whack.
SO YOU’VE GOT YOUR MEASUREMENT. you’re gonna try it on, but how do you know if it’s the right fit? the band is pretty easy, just make sure it feels comfortable when you hook it. always try bras on at the loosest hook!! the tighter hooks aren’t for sizing, they’re for when your bra gets worn/stretched out so they’ll still be tight enough to support you. most of the support should be coming from the band, not the straps. do make sure your straps are tight enough though because a lot of cup-related fit issues can actually be fixed by adjusting your straps! they shouldn’t dig into your shoulders though, just enough to keep you steady.
now for the cup:
the bottom of the cup (usually underwire) should come all the way around your breast, almost under the armpit. whenever you hear people complain about underwire poking them/making them uncomfortable, it’s probably because they’ve got too small of a cup size and the edge of the wire is hitting them in the side of the boob like in the picture on the right. bigger cup size means wider underwire. make sure yours hits you in the right place.
this is the fun part. my top 3 bra recommendations for those of you looking for a little more lift. it’s worth noting that these 2 brands tend to only carry up to a band size of 40, but worry not.
this is my friend chase (cis guy). he’s nearly an entire foot taller than me, fairly muscular, and his band measurement is a 38, only one size bigger than mine. i could probably squeeze him into a 36 if i had to. we are two WILDLY different body shapes but with very similar band sizes. just goes to show, different sizes can look very different on different people. and if he can fit pretty comfortably in the margins of the sizes these brands offer, there’s a good chance you can too.
1) MAIDENFORM – LOVE THE LIFT & COMFORT DEVOTION PUSH UP BRAS
don’t worry i only know the specific names of these because i fucking LIVE in the bra department lmao. but this is my number one rec!! highlights include:
honestly these have enough padding in them that you probably don’t need to buy inserts, but you can if you’d like. and honestly the cute factor is a big one here because maidenform is definitely my most colorful/stylish brand by far. and even though no one sees it, looking cute underneath all the rest of your clothes does WONDERS for your self image. both cute and comfy. 10/10.
2) WARNER’S – CLOUD NINE & ELEMENTS OF BLISS WITH LIFT
not as colorful as maidenform, but warner’s has a lot of good things going for them. highlights include:
truth be told, you really don’t need an underwire. some people swear by them. personally i could go either way. but this is a super comfy bra with just a little bit of lift that i often find myself recommending to people.
3) WARNER’S – THIS IS NOT A BRA
it is a bra. but it’s so comfortable that it feels like it’s not a bra. most of the same positives as the last pair of bras, but these highlights also include:
lower on my list for a reason, but still worth the recommendation. the thicker reinforced area around the underwire is almost thick enough to be considered padding lmao, but you’re still probably gonna wanna get inserts with this one. with a very evangelion sounding name, you can (not) go wrong with this one.
they don’t really offer any support, but many bralettes tend to be cute and lacy, and if that’s all you need out of a bra then great!! just another layer to your outfit. i’m not 100% sure how strong they are when it comes to holding up inserts, but i thought i’d still toss them in this list somewhere. personally i like the brand jenni.
i’m talkin bout these bad boys right here.
these are the kinds of packages they come in. you can take em right out of the box and try em on with your bras, just don’t damage the packaging or mix them up lol. some are made of foam, some are this sorta jelly stuff. honestly it’s whatever you prefer. the jelly ones are probably easier to clean?? but i just wanted to mention a little something about the packaging.
size B/C. size WHAT B/C?? because as we all now know, cup size is relative. so what the fuck does this mean. i think when it comes to these it’s fair to assume they’re talking about for a 34 band, so if you wear something other than a 34 band, adjust accordingly. go ahead and grab a bigger size if you’ve got a larger band measurement.
so like i said, there is no reason to ever pay full price for a bra. the BEST times to go bra shopping are either during ONE DAY SALES (which always last more than one day lmao), or during PRE-SALES.
one day sales usually last an entire weekend and knock things down to nearly clearance prices, but won’t take any more discounts/coupons. bras like these can go from $40 to about $16, depending on the sale. wireless bras almost always get better deals than wire bras.
pre-sales are a pain in the ass to explain to people but they basically work like this: we’re GONNA have a sale starting on X date. but since it is not X date yet, we cannot give it to you at that price yet. BUT INSTEAD, we can let you do the transaction and get the benefit of the sale, and we will hold your merchandise for you until X date. pre-sales are REALLY good if you’ve got time to wait for your merchandise because they work on things that usually never take coupons, like these inserts for example. they usually take off like 25-30% so if you can get a pre-sale on something that’s already like 25-40% off you can end up saving a lot. the only bother is that you can’t walk out with your merchandise that day.
macy’s does have a (poorly worded but well intended) training video that literally everyone has to watch before they get hired and it is on the topic of trans people and fitting rooms. ANYONE IS ALLOWED TO USE ANY FITTING ROOM THEY FEEL COMFORTABLE IN, so use whichever you want. if you happen to feel weird about it or you think another customer might give you a hard time, the kids’ fitting rooms are designated gender neutral fitting rooms. use those if you can. also they’re bigger because it’s assumed that kids are gonna try stuff on with their parents lmao.
you can also just buy it and try it on at home, and bring it back if it doesn’t work out!! it is universally agreed upon that trying on bras is a huge hassle so no one will think it’s weird. people do this all the damn time.
and if you find the right size but not the right color, ask to do an order in the store at the register! a lot of the times if you order in store we can waive the shipping fee. and you’ll still get the sale price on the item!
SO YEAH i think that’s about all the knowledge i’ve got to share on the subject, but if there’s anything else you want me to cover, let me know! and happy shopping!!!!
So, letting people be who they want to be is a good thing. That’s shocking I tell you, just shocking. All I want to know is, how much time and money went into this research when you could’ve just asked trans folks how they felt for free
The way research works is they probably did ask trans folks, and then systematically collected their responses. Research often is the collection of many many people’s responses, collected in a rigorous standardized way. They are not just saying “this is the case for some trans kids” they are saying “this is the majority experience” for the trans kids they studied/ which is a powerful and useful thing to be able to say.
Yes it seems obvious but especially with social justice and medical research even if it is well known having a peer reviewed paper saying means that when some cis person is arguing the opposite you have a peer reviews paper to go, “look it’s been studied you are wrong”.
Research studies inform policy and medical practice. It is a good thing that this paper has been made because it can be used as evidence.
Minority groups benefit from research that looks at how things affect them and gives them a voice that is harder for policy makers to ignore. Bashing this study because it is obvious isn’t helpful, this study could seriously help trans kids, especially if it had been published in main stream media, because parents who are cis and don’t know anything about trans issues or don’t know if anyone they know is trans might find out their kids are and search for info and this will pop up. And because it’s from a trusted source, it’s research! they might think “oh maybe the best thing I can do for my kid is let them transition”.
Poo pooing research that gives minorities a voice because it’s obvious for the maringalised group but not the hegemonic one hurts the marginalized group because the hegemonic group is the group that needs to learn how “obvious” it is.
There’s a cool blog out there for anyone who isn’t cis to trade with/give clothes out to other non-cis people.
It’s called @trans-nb-clothing and you should definitely check it out. It would also be nice if you could reblog this for anyone who might need this.
Basically you just submit a post saying what you’re trading in (normally with pictures, but not necessary), and what you’d want in return (size, clothing type). Probably add how you’d want to be contacted and then you wait for any takers.
Please at least share this with as many people as you can! It’s slow going. I’m trying my best with earning some but 1. no one is hiring 2. The cost went up from my original quote. 3. I’m expecting things to not go well this summer, and it’ll be more of a struggle to get this done, I don’t think I can wait any longer after this year, nor have the time to get this done, recover, and be able to work